In the life of every person, there was a parting, when yesterday, so dearly beloved, dear and close, this day leaves, taking a piece of the soul and closing the door to a happy family future. Indescribable pain, a feeling of emptiness, grief, despair and resentment settles in the heart. Many are trying to find the answer to the questions: how to survive a breakup with a loved one, what to do to regain faith in love and open your heart to new feelings? Psychologists recommend letting go of a person, not holding on to the past, but finding positive factors in the situation.

Why do people get so upset about a breakup?

Breaking up with a loved one is a kind of emotional trauma that is not easy to survive. The main reasons why people react so sharply to a break in a relationship, psychologists include the following:

  • Sincere love - when the heart completely belongs to one loved one, all thoughts are about him, it is unimaginable to imagine that he can leave. After parting, love does not pass in one day or a month, it will take a lot of time for feelings to burn out and cool down, so it is extremely difficult to survive a breakup.
  • Attachment to a person - if a couple has been together for a long time, people trusted each other, then it is extremely difficult to accept, to understand that this is no longer and will not happen again.
  • Fear of being alone - after parting with a loved one, the self-esteem of the abandoned person, as a rule, drops sharply. Obsessive thoughts appear with the pretext “what if”: “What if I don’t meet anyone?”, “What if I’m left alone / alone forever?”, Others. Such reflections bring on melancholy and aggravate the process of experiencing, delaying the “recovery”.
  • Self-flagellation is one of the main factors that make you experience the situation of parting with your loved one again. Constant memories of happy, joyful days together, viewing joint photos, listening to sad songs - this makes you return to the past, which no longer exists, which further depresses the state.

Psychological advice on how to endure loneliness after breaking up

Surviving a breakup is within the power of every person, it will only take time, a little effort. A real, sensible, sober assessment of the situation, acceptance of the situation as it is, the realization that the relationship is in the past, and a new stage of life is open to you will help to cope with the problem. In order to survive parting with a loved one, psychologists advise taking simple 4 steps:

  • Let go of the past.
  • Find something positive in the breakup.
  • Remove all the negativity that the breakup brought into life (think positively).
  • Open your heart to a new life, relationships, feelings.

Don't hold on to memories

When a person leaves, there are reasons for this: cooled feelings, new love, frequent conflict situations with a partner. It is important to understand that if a loved one is gone, then you need to let him go - it will be painful, difficult, but you need to put a bullet at this stage of life, put all thoughts, memories of the past out of your head. To survive a breakup, you need to clear your head of thoughts about the departed loved one, forbid yourself to even think about what connects with him.

Get rid of negative emotions

Negativity has a bad effect on the emotional, mental and physical state of health, so you should get rid of it. Forget about the pain that you had to endure during the breakup, about the resentment that settled in the soul and poisons from the inside, about the hatred for the once beloved person, who so cruelly betrayed, trampled the heart. Throw away everything that reminds you of a former partner, causes a wave of indignation, grief, streams of tears.

Chat with friends and family

After parting, it is not necessary to lead a reclusive lifestyle, to sit alone. Rather, on the contrary, the free time that has appeared can be spent on close people, friends with whom it was not possible to meet before. Do not be afraid to talk about your feelings, experiences that lurk in your soul, having spoken out, you will achieve relief, and the support of your relatives will help you regain self-confidence.

Program yourself for happiness and new relationships

In order to survive a breakup, you need to understand that this is not only the end of a relationship, but also the beginning of a new life, in which there will be other meetings, acquaintances, joys. Let go of sorrows and sorrows, open your heart to new feelings, relationships, believe that you can love and be loved. Tune in to a positive wave, allow yourself to enjoy every day, believe in a miracle and do not be afraid to be hit by Cupid's arrow.

Ways to deal with heartache after a long relationship

It is possible to cope with depression, pain after parting with the help of a variety of changes in life, new hobbies, activities. It is not necessary to change everything radically, sometimes small innovations can give the existence of a new meaning, joy. Known ways to help survive a breakup:

  • Change the image - cardinal changes in appearance, according to psychologists, can affect life after parting, quickly changing it. The change of image may include a change in haircut or hair color, clothing style, updating the entire wardrobe. In addition, if changes take place in the beauty salon, this will become an additional pleasant pastime for the girl.
  • Go in for sports - a visit to the gym or a little exercise at home will help improve your mood, get a boost of energy after parting with your loved one. This is a great way to keep yourself in shape, which helps you feel confident, attract enthusiastic looks from the opposite sex.
  • Shopping therapy is the best way for women to deal with depression and feelings after parting with a loved one. Updating the wardrobe always has a positive effect on the condition of the girl, helps to survive a difficult time, improves mood, helps to keep the girl busy, distract from suffering. Going shopping with your girlfriends, you can not only buy new clothes, but also have fun.
  • Going on a trip is a great chance to see the world, get unforgettable impressions and experience delightful emotions. During the trip, there will be an opportunity not only to enjoy the beauties of picturesque nature or architectural buildings, but also to think about important things. For example, analyze your actions, evaluate why a loved one could stop loving, whose fault and what should be changed in order to avoid mistakes in the future and other relationships would not end in parting.
  • Starting home repairs is a great opportunity to get distracted, to change something radically in your life after parting with your loved one. Make a small redevelopment, change the furniture that evokes memories of a former loved one, this will allow you to create your own comfort zone.
  • To meet new people. New acquaintances are necessary for people, like oxygen, in order to maintain life, develop, and acquire new knowledge. Arrange a reception of new acquaintances at home, relax and have fun to the glory, to return the craving for life, survive the separation.
  • Take a break from sad thoughts: visit exhibitions, museums or theaters. Visiting cultural places provides an opportunity to get inspired, get closer to the culture and the world of beauty, and helps to get rid of feelings after parting with a loved one. This is a great chance for spiritual development and self-development, thanks to which you will not stand in one place, but will constantly develop.
  • Reading positive literature - a good book can change the worldview, get a charge of positive emotions and find inspiration for a happy future. Preference should be given to books on self-education, psychology or classics, which can make you reconsider your outlook on life, evaluate your actions and other people in a given period. Literature can help in building plans for the future, forget about the experiences after parting with a loved one.
  • Buying a pet for yourself - taking care of someone will help you forget about parting, survive this trouble. There will no longer be a feeling of loneliness, because upon returning home you will be met by a cute cat or a funny dog ​​who will brighten up your leisure time and help cheer you up.

Video: how easier it is to endure a breakup with a loved one

Surviving a painful breakup is not easy, it will take time to learn how to live without this relationship, the forces that will help you forget about everything. It is important to realize that there is nothing to return, no matter how much you would like to. Rebuild your life in such a way, stop thinking about who was to blame - so that there is no place in it for suffering or thoughts about the past. Perhaps in the future you will still have friendly relations, but for the next few months you should completely forget about the person. Watch a video where a practicing psychologist will give useful tips on how to survive a breakup:


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