How to tell your husband that you want a divorce

To part culturally, you need to inform your husband and prepare for a divorce. For this, you need to be patient and calm. If the decision has already been made and the process is inevitable, it is better to have a conversation at home than in court. It is always more difficult for women to dare to talk, although they are often the initiators of a divorce.

To avoid difficulties, it is necessary to prepare weighty arguments and tell your spouse about your vision of the future.

Divorce preparation. The most important thing is to drive emotions away. If a woman plans to leave, a cold sober mind is needed. Because she has to think and imagine to the smallest detail what the future will be like without a man. And for this you need to consult (or read the advice) with a lawyer and a psychologist. Otherwise, behind emotions and feelings, you may not see the dirty tricks and remain with nothing.

So how do you properly prepare for a breakup?

• First, decide on what means and, most importantly, where you will live. Go to a rented apartment? Or to mom? Or maybe you will have to live with the missus for some time under the same roof? But if the apartment is his, then get ready for the fact that you will find yourself on the street. The reaction may be different.
• What to live on for the first time, if before that you lived on the income of your husband? If for alimony, then you need to immediately back up with the support of the judge. Also keep in mind that many men dodge payouts safely. Especially if they are humiliated and angry at their soul mate.
• Property division. In the claim that you will draw up, do not forget to indicate about the property. Remember that sharing a home where outsiders show up is much more difficult.
• Children. Who do they stay with? If with your mother, do you agree to see your father? If you do not give, you need to indicate in the claim. It also indicates the days of visits to the child by the father and permission to pick up from the kindergarten / school, to his home. So that later there would be no sudden “losses”.
• When filing for divorce, do not forget about friends and relatives. They can significantly support you and help you in court as witnesses.
• If the father is a completely adequate person, do not try to protect him from children. Let him contribute to his upbringing, bring gifts, etc. It is worth discussing this moment, otherwise it may be that the companion decides to delete the whole family from his life, along with the children.

If the lady weighed everything down to the details and did not change the idea of ​​a breakup, then the next step would be to talk about breaking up with her husband.

How to tell your husband about a divorce? We have already talked about calmness and a sober mind. These are the very first assistants in the conversation. First, state your desire for a divorce and explain why you decided to apply. It is strictly forbidden to insult and humiliate a companion. If you're leaving because you're in love with another person, try to be as gentle as possible about it. Brave, you will inflict a deep wound on your partner or arouse a desire for revenge.

Do not set the children against the father. Of course, if there are no good reasons. Also, do not manipulate the spouse's desire to see the guys in the future. You should also tell your husband that your decision is deliberate, not spontaneous. And then ask the following questions:

• Does the companion agree to pay alimony or will he give part of the income on his own, without litigation.
• Property division.
• Who, with whom and where is going to live.
• The plan of meetings of the father with the children after parting.

Based on the answers, decisions will be made.

It is very important to remember that the children are not to blame for your relationship. You need to talk about this with your husband first. Feel free to ask for alimony. Even if you are to blame for the breakup. Step over your pride, even if you have enough money to live on. Put your payouts in your bank account. The resources will come in very handy in the future. After all, the children still have to study.

Do not create problems for the offspring. Moving to a new location involves transferring to another school. If the child does not want to part with classmates, if the transition becomes stressful for him, do everything possible so that he finishes his studies where he is comfortable. Very often the question arises: how to talk with a child about the upcoming separation of parents? Tell the truth - that mom and dad no longer love each other, and living without love is torment. If mom has a lover, don't talk yet. If the offspring is already a teenager, then he himself will draw conclusions about those responsible for the gap.

There is also a situation where the family is experiencing great financial difficulties. For example, a couple took out a mortgage or got into debt. If you are not sure that after separation, the chosen one will pay part of the money, then reporting a divorce now is a bad idea. And if, in addition, the wife remains unemployed for the first time, then all the more you should not rush. It's better to be a little patient.

Although it also happens that there is nowhere else to endure. If this situation has touched you, then, when leaving, do not complain about fate. You need to prepare yourself for moral and material difficulties in advance. It’s good if you and your kids have somewhere to go - parents, new love, your own apartment. But if the mother is left alone - this is a disaster. Such stress is often experienced much harder than the departure itself.

Very often you can hear from a lady: “I have already decided everything, but I can’t tell my husband that I want to get a divorce.”

Dear women, do not be afraid. Better imagine the husband's reaction when he first hears the news in court. This is tantamount to betrayal. After all, you have lived together for many years, learned to trust and respect each other. Such behavior is at least ugly in relation to a loved one. Even if you no longer live like real spouses.

Announcement in court will turn into a scandal. Temperamental husbands often raise their hand to a companion right in court. Even worse - if the missus begins to throw out in public unpleasant facts about you and your new love.

Also, be prepared that friends and relatives may not approve of the act, and you will have to sort out problems on your own. No matter what your loved ones tell you, if you feel that you have long wanted to disperse, do not back down. Don't let them manipulate and control your life.

• Find something you love right away. It will distract from doubts and thoughts that perhaps separation was a mistake. Anything comes to mind the first time.
• Immerse yourself in work, build a career, take care of the kids. Most importantly, don't look to the past. This is fraught with self-pity, whining and attempts to return. What is destroyed cannot be glued together, and even if the couple converges over time, life turns into a continuous reproach.
• If it so happened that the spouses live in the same apartment, diplomacy will not hurt here. Agree not to interfere in each other's lives, if it does not concern a joint child. Remember that being jealous and asking where and why you were is already inappropriate. Also, don't report yourself. From now on, you're just neighbors.
• During the period of cohabitation, look for ways to arrange a new personal life, where to leave and when to leave, otherwise there is no point in getting a divorce.

So, as we see the problem, how to say about divorce - only flowers. Berries appear after. Although there are pluses: the gap teaches people diplomacy more than the previous family period.

What to be prepared for: cons after separation

Freedom, independence and the joy of being relieved of duties is not the only thing that awaits a lady after parting. As usual, there are also disadvantages, and these are:

• If the breakup occurred due to male infidelity, the beautiful person is disappointed and does not trust the opposite sex for a long time.
• Unsuccessful personal life is reflected in the kids. Mom can take it out on them.
• Difficult financial situation.
• If there is no support from relatives and friends, then it is easier to leave and change jobs than to persuade them to believe that they are right.
• Putting the blame on others is the wrong thing to do. You need to be able to take responsibility for what you have done.
• Perhaps a woman will suffer depression and alcoholism - the worst outcome of the problem. In this case, you should not be within four walls and deprive yourself of communication. Get busy with anything!
• The absence of a partner leads to abstinence, and abstinence leads to disease. Look for a companion.
• The decision to leave could be unconscious, spontaneous. But a lady can figure it out when it's too late. Such a rash step will cross out the charm of freedom and a beautiful person will receive severe psychological trauma.
• Do not rush from one marriage to another. You already know what family relationships are, so we turn on a sober mind and ask the price. Now you simply do not have the right to make a mistake and doom yourself to misfortune again. Why change the awl for soap?