Christian mentor. How to find a spiritual mentor? Does a person need a spiritual mentor? Who Can't Be a Spiritual Mentor

QUESTION: Who is a spiritual mentor and what is his role in the life of a Christian?

ANSWER: To begin with, let us give excerpts from the collection of sayings of the Holy Fathers "The Spiritual Leader and the Attitude of an Orthodox Christian towards Him" ​​(published by A.O. "Skit", Moscow, 1993), a collection that is very useful to read for every Orthodox Christian.

“The leader in the spiritual life for every Christian must necessarily be a priest-confessor, to whom one must resort not only for confession, but also for teaching.”

"Try all your life to have spiritual father, reveal to him your sins and thoughts, weaknesses and temptations, use his advice and instructions - then you will conveniently find the Kingdom of Heaven.

“Without the closest leaders, it is impossible to live sacredly on earth. You will find them in the Church, where the Holy Spirit supplies them to shepherd the flock of Christ. Beg the Lord to grant you a suitable confessor at the right time, and without your request, he will speak a comforting word to you. The Spirit of God will teach him what is proper to say to you, and you will hear from him what is pleasing to God.”

“Commit your heart to obedience to your spiritual father, and the Grace of God will dwell in you.”

Here are just a few sayings of the Holy Fathers relating to the relationship of an Orthodox Christian with his spiritual leader.

It is a great happiness for a Christian to find a worthy confessor who will take responsibility before God for the spiritual life of his “child”, will pray for him, monitor his spiritual growth, guide him in all cases of his life, directing him to the path of virtue, leading into Eternal Life.

For a Christian who has a confessor, the way to resolve the life problems that confront him is completely different from that of the people of “this world”, who live without Faith, outside the Church and therefore wander in the darkness of ignorance about the things and phenomena of real life.

When various life problems arise before such “non-church” people, they are forced to solve them relying only on their own mind, life experience, or on the advice of “non-church” people like themselves. As a rule, in such cases, problems remain unresolved, or their resolution entails other, no less problems.

This happens because the cause of all the troubles and problems of a person is in himself, in the separation of his soul from God, in the violation of inner spiritual harmony due to sins accumulated during life.

It is impossible to violate the Commandments of God without consequences!

If you pour sunflower oil into a car engine instead of engine oil, it will go bad. If you plug a 127-volt Christmas tree garland into a 220-volt outlet, it will “burn out”.

Because the creators of the engine and the garland, while developing them, provided for a certain mode of operation for their products, the violation of which entails their failure.

Also, God, who created man, gave him His Commandments as rules, by fulfilling which a person maintains his soul in a “normal”, harmonious state.

A reasonable person, if his TV is broken, turns to the master, a person who is specially trained and knows how to fix this TV.

Unreasonable - he starts picking microcircuits with a screwdriver or calls a neighbor who, not being a specialist, only helps the owner to break this TV.

Similarly, the people of the “world of this world”, when faced with life problems that are the result of their sins, try to solve them themselves or, even worse, run to the “neighbors” - sorcerers, psychics, fortune-tellers.

The result is inevitably sad.

A Christian who tries to keep the commandments of God has a clear conscience and peace in his soul; the events of external life happening to him do not destroy his inner harmony, but contribute to an even greater improvement of the spirit; just like fire and water, they harden iron, making it strong steel.

An Orthodox Christian, faced with any life problem, seeks advice from a confessor, knowing that he is asking for an answer to his question not from a person, even a righteous and spiritually experienced one, but from God, Who sees his Faith, and gives him through spiritual father needed advice and blessing.

Having received the blessing of a confessor for any deed, a Christian, without hesitation, fulfills it as an obedience, and the Lord will certainly give him His Gracious Help in this.

The Church, through the lips of the elders, teaches: “Commit your heart to obedience to your spiritual father, and the Grace of God will dwell in you.”

QUESTION: How can a beginning Christian find a spiritual guide?

ANSWER: The Church grants a Christian the right to choose his own spiritual mentor. It would be great if a priest from the nearest church becomes it.

But, since the disposition of the soul of each Christian is purely individual, priests are also different in character, spiritual experience, it is very important to find such a confessor so that there is cordial contact, mutual understanding and complete trust between the Christian and the confessor he has chosen.

Then spiritual guidance will bear good fruit.

Here are some practical tips for people who want to find a spiritual mentor:

First of all, pray earnestly to God, asking Him to grant you a prudent and kind mentor. As you ask, so shall you receive.

Go to the nearest temple, pay attention to the priests during the service.

Try to feel with your heart - to whom it will settle down.

Approach this priest for confession, repent of your sins, ask questions that concern you (just don’t take his time for idle talk, speak briefly and about really important things).

Depending on whether the priest treats you attentively or indifferently, with participation or indifference, decide for yourself whether to entrust him with the solution of your painful problems or limit yourself to confession and resolution from sins, and then look for another confessor.

But, if you have entrusted and received advice and blessing from him, do it sacredly, as received from the Lord Himself, and then do not run from one priest to another in the hope of changing the instruction that you did not like.

The same Christ acts equally through all the priests, and therefore it is a sin to address the same question to different priests twice (if for the first time you were given a specific blessing - how to act) - a sin.

If you could not find a priest in the nearest temple to whom you would dare to entrust your soul for spiritual guidance, do not worry.

Even in pre-revolutionary Russia, many went to solve important issues of their lives in Optina Pustyn to the great elders, in Diveevo, and in other places where there were priests glorified by the height of their spiritual life.

As you begin to visit churches and enter into fellowship with other Orthodox Christians, you will hear in which churches, which priests enjoy authority and love among the parishioners, and your opportunities to find a spiritual leader will expand significantly.

“If there is no experienced mentor and a Christian will go to the confessor, which is, then the Lord will cover him for humility.” (The spiritual leader and the attitude of an Orthodox Christian towards him. Edition of A.O. "Skit" Moscow. 1993.)

Those who wish to find a spiritual mentor need to remember the words of the Lord Jesus Christ:

“Ask and it will be given; seek and you will find.”

The main thing is not to stop fervently praying to the Lord, and He will give you a mentor for Salvation.

Orthodox calendar

Holy Saturday. St. Martin the Spanish, Pope of Rome (655).

Mchch. Anthony, John and Eustathius of Lithuania (1347). Mch. Ardalion (305-311). Mchch. 1000 Persian and Azat eunuch (c. 341).

St. Alexander Orlov Confessor, Presbyter (1941).

Vilna and Vilna-Ostrobramskaya Icons of the Mother of God.

Liturgy of St. Basil the Great.

Morning - 1 Cor., 133 credits, V, 6-8; Gal., 206 credits, III, 13–14. Matt., 114 credits, XXVII, 62-66. Lit. - Rom., 91 credits, VI, 3-11. Matt., 115 credits, XXVIII, 1–20.

In the morning - "God is the Lord", praises with verses of the 17th kathisma, in three articles. According to the kathisma - "Angelic Cathedral" (the whole temple is incensed). According to the 9th song of the canon and the small litany - "Holy is the Lord our God" and immediately laudatory psalms (from the words "Every breath ...") and stichera for praise. After singing the great doxology, the Holy Shroud is carried around the temple with the singing of the funeral "Holy God ...". Then “Wisdom, forgive me”, troparion “Good-looking Joseph...”. Troparion of prophecy. Prokeimenon, Parimia, Prokeimenon, Apostle, Alleluiarium and the Gospel (read before the Holy Shroud). After the Gospel - a litany: a complete oath "Rzem all ..." and a petition (with a prayer of head bowing). Let Matins go: "For us for the sake of men ...". 1st hour.

On pictorial Blessed are read. Liturgy of St. Basil the Great begins in the evening. Entrance with the Gospel. There is no prokimn, but the reading of 15 parimias begins immediately with the singing of choruses. Then a small litany, the exclamation "For Thou art holy ..." and then - the liturgy. Instead of the Trisagion - "They were baptized into Christ ...". After the Apostle, instead of "Alleluia" is sung "Rise, O God...". Priests at this time change into bright vestments. Instead of the Cherubim song - "Let all human flesh be silent ...". Worthy "Do not cry for me, Mati ...". Let go of the liturgy: "Christ, our True God...". After the dismissal, the troparia “Noble Joseph ...”, “Glory” - “When thou hast descended ...”, “And now” - “To the myrrh-bearing women ...” (vocal chant) are sung; a prayer for the blessing of bread and wine, but without mentioning wheat and oil.

As a shepherd, performer of the sacrament of repentance; 2) spiritual mentor; 3) a special official in, whose duties include the spiritual guidance of the brothers (sisters) on the way to (the main duty of such a confessor is the pastoral care of the inhabitants of the monastery and their spiritual condition; he helps to ensure that all the inhabitants of the monastery go to confession and commune with the Saints Mysteries of Christ; private conversations of the spiritual father are also very useful for the monks, which will help them to better understand the meaning of the monastic path).

Confessor

Candidate of Theology, Lecturer at the St. Petersburg Theological Academy, Archpriest Alexander Glebov

Leading. Who is a confessor, why is he needed, and is it necessary for every believer to have his own confessor?
Father Alexander. The question of a confessor, or spiritual father, is very complicated, and within the boundaries of our transmission, it is quite difficult to give an exhaustive answer to this question. Therefore, I will draw the attention of our viewers to several topics that seem to me the most important.
First: who is a confessor? The confessor guides and instructs a person in his spiritual life, in the matter of salvation. It is clear that the confessor must first of all have spiritual experience himself. He must also have the ability to communicate this experience to other people. Not every priest can be a confessor. Priests should not be reproached for this, because it is impossible to learn to be a confessor either in a seminary or in an academy; this is not given to a person in the Sacrament of the Priesthood. This is a kind of charisma, a certain ability. Not every person has this ability, therefore it is better to be left without a confessor at all than to choose a person who does not have this ability, a person inexperienced in spiritual life, as a spiritual guide. In order to be a leader, in order to lead someone, you need to know the goal to which you are leading this person. You also need to know the road that leads to this goal. You need to lead to where you yourself have already been, otherwise, it will turn out, according to Christ: “If the blind lead the blind, then both of them will fall into the pit.”
Second: the sphere of activity of a confessor is exclusively the spiritual, religious life of a person. A confessor is not an oracle; you should not ask him questions that are beyond his competence. The confessor does not solve issues of family well-being, issues related to the professional activities of people, health and so on. If the confessor is experienced, then his advice can be authoritative only in the field of spiritual life. On all other issues, he can, like any person, express his own opinion, but this does not mean that his opinion will be correct. Let me give you an example: many people choose a member of the monastic clergy as their spiritual mentor. They come to his monastery and begin to ask questions about how to act in a given life situation. For example: how to fix family life and relationship with a spouse, or how to set up a business, or how to raise children? Well, tell me, what does the monk understand about this? What does a monk understand about how to raise children, even if he is a holy man? It is necessary to ask a mother of many children, and not a monk - this is completely natural. If the confessor is inexperienced, then he can advise such that if a person takes everything seriously, then he can simply cripple his life. Who and whom to marry, who to get divorced, who to take monasticism, who to leave secular work and take holy orders, which doctors to treat or not to be treated at all, what kind of education to give children, and so on. If you perceive all these recommendations as a voice from heaven, then you can do a lot of trouble, but you don’t need to address such questions to the confessor - this is not his field of activity.
Third: when a person becomes a member church community, he should not look for a confessor, he should look for Christ. And in order to find Christ in your heart, you do not need any special recommendations and advice - everything is written in the Gospel. In practice, quite the opposite happens. People wander from one monastery to another, trying to find somewhere a special spirituality, a special grace. They are busy looking for an old man who will solve all their problems, answer all their questions, and at the same time they forget, or perhaps they don’t know at all, the words of the saint that a change of place does not bring us closer to God. The Lord quite clearly said in the Gospel that the Kingdom of Heaven is not in Jerusalem, not on Mount Athos, it is in the heart of man. In order to find this Kingdom in your heart, it is enough to regularly go to church, confess, take communion and do what the Lord commands: to live according to His commandments. Then a person will acquire that “peaceful spirit” to which he pointed out as the goal of the Christian life. If this spirit lives in a person, if it acts in a person, then the Lord will show the person from within how to act in this or that life situation.
Leading. Does this mean that the confessor's advice is optional? How then to be with church discipline, with obedience?
Father Alexander. In answer to your question, I will read out a quote from an interview with the deceased. This interview was given by Vladyka back in 1999, and it dealt specifically with abuses in the practice of clergy. Vladyka Anthony says: “Obedience does not mean slavishly following the instructions of the priest, even if they are given in the form of advice. Obedience - from the word "listening", and the purpose of obedience is to teach a person to break away from his own thoughts, from his own attitude to things and listen to what the other person says to him. This is where obedience begins, and it applies not only to church practice, but to all relationships between people.” I really have nothing to add to this, I can only comment. Obedience, indeed, is not a blind fulfillment of everything that your confessor or priest tells you. Each of us has our own view of things, each of us has our own opinion. We always believe that we are right, not our opponents, and so, obedience is an attempt to look at the world through the eyes of another person. Do not withdraw into yourself, listen to the opinion of another, and Vladyka Anthony is right when he says that obedience concerns not only church discipline. Without obedience, no community at all is possible, no community of people is possible if we do not take into account the opinion of those who are close to us. Why do conflicts arise? Why do families break up? Because people often just do not hear those who are next to them. Especially in matters of spiritual life. It is imprudent to rely only on one's own opinion in spiritual life, on one's own ideas, which are sometimes very distorted. It is necessary to listen to the experience of other people, perhaps to take something from someone else's experience into your life - this is what is called obedience.
Leading. If there is no confessor, then before communion one has to confess to any priest who may be younger, and people who come to confession may be more experienced in spiritual life. Can a confession be considered successful if the priest who receives it is inexperienced in the spiritual life?
Father Alexander. The question of the relationship between the personal qualities of a clergyman and the reality of those Sacraments that he performs has been raised in the Church since ancient times. Already in the first centuries, such a doctrine arose, according to which the Sacrament is valid only when it is performed by a clergyman worthy of his moral qualities. If the clergyman is unworthy, then no Sacrament is performed. refuted this doctrine as heresy, and this is why: what does worthy or unworthy mean? What is meant by dignity? After all, every person, regardless of what hierarchical level he occupies, has his own shortcomings, weaknesses, limitations. If by dignity we understand a certain impeccability of a person or his sinlessness, then in this sense, worthy people simply do not exist. The holy fathers often slip the idea that saints are sinners who have realized themselves, who are aware of themselves as sinners. All people are sinners, but those people who realize their sin, bring repentance to God, try to correct themselves - something works out for them, something they don't - that's what we call them saints. But these saints are still sinners, still people with their own shortcomings. Practically in each of the prayers of the rank of the Liturgy there is an appeal from a clergyman, bishop or priest to God that the Lord, despite his personal unworthiness, perform the Sacrament of Transubstantiation. This is expressed most clearly in the rite of the Liturgy in Prayer. There are such words: “Yes, not for my sins, forbid the grace of Your Holy Spirit from the Gifts presented.”
The sacrament is performed by the Lord. The priest is not the performer of the Sacrament, he is the minister of the Sacrament. He is a clergyman, not a clergyman, and in this case the personal qualities of a priest have nothing to do with the reality of the Sacrament. As the saint said back in the fourth century: “It doesn’t matter which print from the seal is gold or clay, the seal is still the same.” The same applies to the Sacrament of Confession. A priest is neither a judge nor an interrogating investigator. The function of a priest in the Sacrament of Confession, in prayer from this rank, is defined as a witness. “Christ stands invisibly, but I am only a witness,” the priest reads a prayer. This testimony at the Sacrament of Confession was compared with the testimony of a friend of the groom, which happens at a wedding. You know that when a marriage is concluded, there is always a witness on the part of the groom and on the part of the bride, who puts his signature, certifying that the marriage took place. Indeed, this parallel is very appropriate, since a wedding is a joyful event and a person's repentance is also a joyful event. The Lord said that he had more joy from the conversion of one sinner, from his repentance, than from ninety-nine righteous people who did not need this repentance. The function of a witness at a wedding is not paramount. It simply indicates that the marriage is concluded. The priest also testifies to the sincerity of a penitent person. A priest may be young, and inexperienced, and poorly educated, but in order to share the joy of repentance with a person, to pray with him, one does not need to graduate from universities for this. The Sacrament of Repentance, that is, the renewal of a person, the cleansing of his soul from the disease of sin, is performed by the Lord in response to the repentance and prayer of the person who comes to confession. The personal qualities of the priest in this case are not decisive, as, indeed, in the rest of the Church Sacraments.

Confessor

A hieromonk of an honest and charitable life, endowed by God with spiritual reasoning and diligent in reading the Word of God and patristic writings, is appointed to the position of the Confessor of the monastery. The duty of the Confessor is to perform the sacrament of Penance and to guide the brethren on the path to salvation. The confessor must keep a record of who and when communed the Holy Mysteries of Christ, so that everyone would steadily approach this great sacrament. Also, the Confessor is obliged, according to his indispensable duty, to visit the sick, comforting and encouraging them in mental and physical illnesses.

If the Confessor, due to the multitude of brethren or due to weakness, does not have time to receive all his spiritual pets, then with the permission of the Rector, some of them are allowed to be handed over to an experienced spiritual elder, but the Confessor is responsible for the correctness of the spiritual guidance from the elder.

In addition, with the blessing of the Rector, other hieromonks or simple monks, experienced in spiritual life, who are subordinate to the main Confessor of the monastery, accepting fatherly advice and instructions from him, may be appointed elders or mentors over novice monks.

In addition to the elders-mentors, confessors-hieromonks who confess pilgrims are subordinate to the confessor of the monastery, among whom one may be senior and responsible for the common work of confession of the confessors. In the great, responsible and difficult work of spiritual guidance, the Confessor is guided by the Word of God, the God-wise patristic writings, the rules of the Holy Church and the rules laid down in the Charter of the monastery. In perplexed matters, the Confessor asks the Rector and his reasoning and will follow.

From the Charter of the Holy Trinity Monastery

On the paths of churching, sooner or later the question will arise: how to find a spiritual mentor, confessor?

This is one of the most difficult questions today. After reading many books, most of us naturally begin to look for a spiritual father. Especially since the entire patristic tradition speaks of the need for a spiritual leader. At the same time, we often hear from church people and from the priesthood that the time has come when there can be no spiritual fathers. Faith has become impoverished, and for this reason there is no need to try, no need to seek... “Your only mentor,” they say, “only patristic books can now be”... Do not rush to immediately judge whether this is so or not.

In order to avoid confusion, it is necessary to distinguish between such concepts as a priest-confessor, a spiritual mentor, a spiritual father, and an elder. There is a general church opinion that the eldership is now very impoverished. But even now there are spiritual people recognized by all, to whom believers resort for advice and consider them elders.

These, for example, are: Archimandrite John Krestyankin in the Pskov-Caves Monastery, Archimandrite Kirill in the Holy Trinity Lavra, monks in some other monasteries of our Church. Believers often resort to them in order to receive instructions, spiritual advice, and find the truth of life.

Temptations related to spiritual guidance

The problem of youth

There is another side to this phenomenon, which Metropolitan Anthony of Surozh spoke about repeatedly in his speeches. In our time, many young priests take on senile duties. Not fully realizing that there is a spiritual life, they undertake to answer some very serious and deep life questions of the parishioners. They even try to tell them life path, moreover, to indicate with some rigidity, presumptuously considering themselves proclaimers of the will of the Lord Himself. Such "youthful old age" is a serious danger for a church-going person.

self-pleasing

At the same time, spiritual instruction is the most necessary phenomenon; one who enters church life cannot do without it. It is not easy to present the order of one's church life to the world, it is difficult and practically impossible to see oneself, therefore it is very necessary and very important to resort to a priest for advice, for instruction.

The question arises about the constancy of the appeal to mentors, i.e. Is it possible to go to different priests and receive instruction from them, or is it necessary to consult with only one. Here a purely psychological nuance arises: if you go to different priests, then the temptation involuntarily arises - to bring the most difficult questions to the most careless and weak priests, and bring insignificant questions to the most strict ones. As a result, a person will arrange his self-pleasing very conveniently, will go with the same question to two or three priests, and in the end will choose one of the three answers, thereby acquiring the skill to determine for himself what to do, perhaps sincerely. believing that he lives by obedience. But what is required in spiritual life is precisely the laying aside of oneself, one's own self-desires, which are often generated by self-indulgence. Such obedience is one of the most important means of church development, which, unfortunately, many cannot accept almost until death. St. Theophan the Recluse said that the bonds of the spirit, self-indulgence, as the deepest, can accompany a person until the very end of his life.

human weakness

The state of today's church people is so weak that not everyone will endure even the usual instruction of a priest. Today's believer will not be able to bear any instruction, because only spiritual strength, grace allows him to bear it for the sake of Christ, feeling and hearing in this a command that is in accordance with the Gospel, with the Gospel character of life. Most often, due to our spiritual weakness in our hearts, there is the power of pride, the power of selfishness, the power of vanity. And this power is hidden behind a flimsy, like plywood, shell, which is only touched, it immediately trembles all over, touch it harder, and it has already been pierced. And if they are pierced, then such a fountain will splash through this plywood that you will then bypass this person for a kilometer. Not only will you be afraid to give instructions, even to advise, when you will urgently ask, and then you will become with great caution. Church people today are so vulnerable that they have to be handled very carefully.

The Temptation of Self-Esteem

It's not just that many of us are very willful, very selfish, vulnerable, and overconfident, and it's not just that it's complicated. Today, the vast majority of churchgoing people have an education - secondary, and the majority have higher education. In many lives a measure of self-knowledge, self-sufficiency or a measure of self-confidence. Everyone thinks that he will understand everything himself, if not today, then tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, he reads books, thinks carefully, reflects and will definitely get to the truth. This self-confidence is so strong in today's intelligentsia that a person still allows himself to somehow listen to advice, especially since at the same time he is free to think for himself. But to perceive the word as an instruction, which means to do and act exactly as it is said, to put aside one’s will, one’s consciousness, one’s understanding – today’s person cannot afford this. And if, at the same time, the priest behaves a little stricter ... Usually, a strict priest, giving instructions, will not explain why this is so, but why that way ... When we begin to explain, we involve the consciousness of a person in execution, i.e. we persuade, convince a person and, as a result, we achieve his consent to the fact that it is useful for him to do so. And a person really accepts this as an instruction, but it turns out that this instruction is not accepted by the heart at all, and therefore has no serious spiritual significance. It is accepted by consciousness, which is convinced that the priest is really right, advises reasonably and sensibly, is benevolent... After such a conviction, the person was internally satisfied, he was convinced that he was not mistaken in the priest. And only after that he allows himself to accept the given word of the priest as an instruction. There is no obedience here, there is agreement with the reasonable word.

As you can see, in the depths of the human heart, in this case, all the same self-pleasing, self-sufficiency remains, a person does not go beyond them. Unfortunately, the majority of today's intelligentsia, who have been living the church life for 10-15 years, are in this state without even suspecting it. It is not surprising that for this reason confession is almost never confession, there is no repentance. A person confesses sins, but more from the consciousness, and not from the heart. It's like getting ready for confession, sticking bath sheets on yourself - while he was sculpting, they seemed to be holding on to the body, but while he stood in line to the priest, he managed to dry, and everything fell off, only one single one remained. . And a man stands, again trying to remember, or the paper that he wrote helps him out.

The priest advises him:

- You have two whole pages written, there are more than a hundred names of sins, and you start with what your heart mourns most of all, what your soul hurts about. Start with this, and then you will remember what was written.

The man slowly lowers his leaf to this and says:

- Father, I have nothing to say.

- Okay, then speak on a piece of paper.

But what was said “on a piece of paper”, despite the fact that there is nothing to say from the heart, is an obvious speaking from the consciousness. All the same intellectual state. Nothing more. All the same depth and lumps of self-pleasing, self-sufficiency, which really wants to become Orthodox and therefore, in its own consciousness, is now looking for methods and ways - how to become one? And having acquired all these methods, armed with methods, having even read all five volumes of the Philokalia and pulled out everything necessary for this, he, “armed to the teeth”, now lives the church life! But in reality, this is precisely the very state about which the Lord said: “Many will say to Me: Lord, Lord! .. And then I will declare to them: I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of iniquity"(). Unfortunately, this state is very characteristic of today's people, and it is very difficult to turn such a person to real repentance.

Demonic Intervention

In relations with the confessor, it is necessary to touch upon another point: demons who do not sleep greatly complicate the situation, and where a serious relationship between the child and the confessor really begins, this invisible evil flows. Where the relationship is cold, or lukewarm, or formal, there the demons are not particularly worried, but where serious instruction begins, suddenly, in one minute, a complete discord in all relations can occur. In a state of such temptation spiritual child unable to comprehend what is happening. It is clear that one minute of discord cannot cross out the years of joint spiritual life, which means that it is a clear temptation that you just need to endure, and this will overcome it.

Prudence or simple prudence allows a person to recognize all these things, no matter how stuck he is. But when a person is hurt, not only his feelings are closed, but also his mind. Minute and even days of temptation cannot be trusted. It is impossible because of what is jammed, to break a long-term relationship. Endure to the end and it will open God's Providence. He is always unexpectedly wise and profound.

Stages of a relationship with a spiritual mentor

Stage One: Priest - Confessor

At the first stage, a person comes to the priest simply as a confessor to whom he brings his sins. A person asks almost nothing from a priest; the books he reads are enough for him, and his self-understanding, according to which, in fact, he builds his life. He's used to living like this in the world.

Stage two: priest-mentor

At the next, second stage, a person begins to trust the priest more and more and therefore begins to listen to his advice. However, the child relates to the advice in a very arbitrary way. The advice may or may not be accepted. This means that the word of the priest, perceived as advice, still remains in the arbitrary address of the person himself. A man treats him the way he wants to. If he continues to go to this priest (and this is possible only in the case of gradually increasing trust in him and mutual, or perhaps one-sided attraction), then it is possible to reach the next stage. He begins to make sure that some of the advice he failed to follow was not just a human invention. Then, in the future, the circumstances showed that he was punished for not fulfilling them, which means that the will of God was behind them. He did not fulfill it and is now punished.

Such revelations, which he experiences during several years of going to the priest as a confessor, give reason to believe that the words of the priest must still be heeded. And gradually he begins to treat the priest as a mentor. The words of the priest at this stage of their relationship are perceived as instruction, and you will no longer be able to freely deal with instruction.

Instruction is a word that you accept to follow. This is no longer advice. If the instruction is accepted for fulfillment and, by fulfilling it, a person discovers, discovers that it helps him grow in spiritual life, then as a result he becomes more and more strengthened in his relationship with his spiritual mentor. The patristic books he has read show that the path that his spiritual mentor leads does not diverge from the Holy Fathers, the common unified spirit is preserved, and this suits him perfectly.

And, finally, to the extent that a Christian becomes convinced of the accuracy and correctness of the instructions, when he does them, it turns out well, and when not, it’s bad (this is how admonition comes), then his confidence is strengthened, and from some time he begins to treat the priest as a spiritual father. This is a completely new quality. A new right of the priest in relation to his child is being formed, but this right is not the autocracy of the priest, it is an authoritative right that the child gives to the shepherd as his spiritual father. What is a power right?

Let's look at an example. A child born in any family treats his parents as having power over him. Mom or dad can not only point him out, but also punish him. They can not only punish, but punish so severely that no one else has such a right ... And with all this, the child, experiencing the horror and tragedy of punishment, up to torture, nevertheless, having calmed down, will return to his parents. He will not run away from home and say, "I have no more father or mother." It is necessary to treat the child very strongly and very rudely, or not to love him at all, so that the child runs away from home. Now, however, this can be seen very often, but these are already cases of a clear lack of parental love. If the parent fulfills his duty with love, if the father and mother, by their parental authority, severely punish the child, he does not run away from them, and in a day - already, as if nothing had happened, he corrected himself, he does not do this anymore. The child knows that for a bad deed his mother or father will severely punish him.

When an adult develops such a degree of trust as his relationship with a priest deepens, in the end it is imprinted by his determination to entrust himself as a spiritual child to his spiritual father. From this time on, a new relationship begins with the same priest, but as with a spiritual father, i.e. who have the right to firmly and strictly turn their child away from his self-desire, self-pleasing, self-will and other things.

Stage Three: Priest - Spiritual Father

On the one hand, we see that in some situations the spiritual father can apply very harsh measures, because waywardness is so deeply rooted in our soul that it is sometimes very difficult to eradicate it. One can only wrest this willfulness out of us by making some drastic prohibitions, or a harsh instruction, or a harsh blessing to act one way and no other.

On the other hand, relations with the spiritual child take on the quietest character, when the priest does not insist on anything, but only gives advice, inadvertently says. And, nevertheless, both the advice and the word are perceived by the child in the very depths of his heart, his voluntary adherence to what was said by the spiritual father. The child obeys not because the spiritual father acted terribly, but because the child himself is devoted to his father with a willing will, and with a loving heart is open to his blessings, for in them he accepts the very will of God about himself.

How do you become a spiritual guide?

Where can such priests or monks come from today who could immediately show their children the will of God? Indeed, a prudent confessor at the third stage of the relationship does not trust himself and tests the will of God. Bless the spiritual child to do so. The child will fulfill, but it didn’t work out. The person returns to the confessor: "You blessed, but things did not go well." Once again, the circumstances are clarified, the spiritual father seeks the will of God again, asks in prayer, listens with humility, reasoning with the gift of prudence, or silently appears to God in prayer (each confessor does as he is given) and again blesses. Might be wrong again. Again, the child, having done everything as it was said, will return with a bad result, if he wants, with his own reasoning, and again the confessor will think and pray. And together with him at the same time, the child will humble himself before the will of God and pray for it. And so on until it is found what the will of God is.

Thanks to these relationships, the spiritual child learns faith and trust, and the confessor gains the spiritual experience of mentoring. Whether he will come to the point where the will of God will be revealed to him from the first or from the second time, only God knows. He himself will remain in a sense of ignorance of the will of God due to his unworthiness, and he will lead the child in obedience to his ministry. How long can such a God-testing relationship last? For us, the current confessors and current children, perhaps for the rest of our lives. Therefore, it is not possible, probably, in our time, i.e. for many of us, the fourth stage, ie. seniority degree. Not every believer will find a spiritual mentor in a priest. Most are delayed at the first stage - they go to the confessor. Few, having reached the second degree, remain there for a long time. Soon they cool down and return to the first. Those who remain remain on it for years, not daring to pass to the third degree. To resort to the priest for advice, leaving the final decision to oneself, or to seek the priest's blessing on a matter already accepted by one's own will and determined by one's understanding how to do it - this is the state of many modern church people.

Yes, and the majority of priests do not seek the third degree, and even more so the fourth. Some - out of a sense of unworthiness, others - out of prudence, thirds - out of unwillingness to take on a lot of care, fourths - out of laziness, avoiding unnecessary work, fifths - out of lack of faith.

In the first five years after ordination, by the inspiring grace of God, by mistreating it, priests can be tempted by “young eldership.” But this disease does not last long.

How long does it take from the first stage to the third? About five to ten years. The third stage can last until the end of life. It is hardly possible today to meet the relationship of a believer with his shepherd as the relationship of a spiritual child with a spiritual father.

Few of the experienced, mature priests dare to offer themselves as mentors at all. It happens that the priest does this if the child persistently asks for it, but agrees to this far from immediately. Inexperienced priests agree, but rarely anything good comes out of this, or purely superficial relationships develop that do not have the meaning of church life in their depths.

We see that already at the level of mentorship, a priest is required not only to hear the events of the priesthood, but also to have pedagogical wisdom. The combination of priestly and pedagogical wisdom provides a real opportunity to lead your child. This matter is very complicated.

CONTROL QUESTIONS.

What are the stages of a relationship with a confessor?

When severe trials fall, anxiety and unrest cover, people ask for help from God or from the sages in order to get advice, recommendations for solving their problems. And then there is a need to find a person who can guide you on the right path and help you understand yourself and your own troubles. It is such a person that a spiritual mentor often becomes, who helps to open up the soul, repent and make a decision to change your life.

Why is Spiritual Guidance Necessary?

Without a leader, a person cannot live a life of holiness. You can find a teacher in a church, where you need to come and pray to the Lord to send a confessor who will comfort, advise and direct thoughts in a charitable direction. The role of a spiritual mentor is great. He, communicating with his child, conveys what the spirit of God conveys to him, instills peace and harmony in the soul.

As a rule, a spiritual mentor is a person with great life and religious experience, and he is obedient to lead the religious life of other people. Confessor plays huge role in the life of a layman and a clergyman, and he is necessary in order to listen to his advice, live piously and reach the Kingdom of Heaven. The history of the church has several options for mentorship. But the main ones are:

• the service of the priest in the parish, where he is the spiritual healer of all parishioners;
• eldership, it was it that became widespread in Russia.

Elders - healers of souls

Originating in Byzantium, it has firmly entered Russian culture and occupied one of the most significant places. The elders took a vow of obedience and by their words and deeds were called to expose sins and console people who were entangled in their own doubts. With saving conversations and instructions, they healed the souls, brought peace and tranquility to them.

Russian eldership takes its origins from Reverend Paisios Velichkovsky and reaches its development thanks to the monks of the Optina Hermitage. Monasteries with their spiritual mentors have been the center of pilgrimage for the Orthodox people for a long time. Eldership had its own peculiarity, where strict asceticism alternated with active exits into the world. These outlets were expressed in contact with the people and in the service of the world as a spiritual helper, mentor and adviser.

Achieving simplicity through humility

Being engaged in the religious education of their students, the elders taught wisdom, contributed to moral growth and improvement. During the earthly life of their spiritual disciple, they coordinated and directed the deeds and actions of the child. The connection between the teacher and the student was very strong, because it was built on a trusting and respectful relationship, humility and love. Father Zakhary instructed to protect one's conscience and strive for simplicity, which can only be achieved through humility.

They came to the elders for advice when there were doubts and difficult situations arose. Consolations and help were expected from the confessor. The uniqueness of the eldership in Orthodoxy lay in the unshakable faith and spiritual strength of the elders and in the subtle work that they carried out in the soul of their disciple. Influencing the human psyche, they delicately and accurately guide a person on the path of gaining love for the Lord.

Finding a Mentor

It is a great grace for a believer to find a clergyman who will be responsible to the Almighty for his student, will pray for him, control the growth of spirituality, guide his actions and instruct him in worldly life, and also guide him on the path of virtue that leads to eternal life. .

For a believer, the way of solving problems is different from the way that unbelieving laymen choose. People who are far from religion, as a rule, try to solve their troubles that have arisen, relying on the help and advice of their acquaintances and, in the main, people who are far from religion. And often the problem is not resolved, but only worsened. This happens because all the complexities are concentrated within us, far from God. And as a result, under the accumulation of sins, there is a failure of spiritual harmony.

With the advent of unforeseen situations, a churched person should go to his confessor for advice. At the same time, the believer understands that when asking what to do, he is waiting for an answer to his question from the Lord. Seeing his humility, God through the priest gives the right advice and blesses. A Christian will never doubt that it is necessary to follow what the confessor says. He is sure that it is the Almighty who sends him his support. Only if you transfer your heart and soul into obedience to a confessor, God's grace will settle in a person.

The Church does not set limits and provides an opportunity for a good Christian to choose a confessor himself. How to find a spiritual mentor? It’s good if it is a clergyman from the temple, where you often come to pray. But everything is individual, and sometimes it is not easy to meet a confessor with whom a trusting and cordial relationship would be established.

The mentor's task

Spiritual mentorship seeks to improve the personality and the manifestation of the image of God in it, to educate spirituality in a person. Orthodox Christian you should definitely read and imbue the instructions of the holy fathers. They say:

• the spiritual thoughts of any Orthodox should be led by a priest, whose help must be addressed both in confession and in teaching;
• try to communicate with the confessor throughout your life, revealing your sins and ungodly thoughts;
• following the teachings of your spiritual father, you will certainly gain the Kingdom of Heaven;
• If you entrust your heart to a confessor, then God's grace will settle in your soul.

How to choose a spiritual father?

How to choose a spiritual mentor? You don't have to look for ways. There is no need to make special efforts when starting the search for a spiritual mentor. This will tell the heart. Understanding whether this is your person or not will come by itself if:

• the advice of the priest has a beneficial effect and heals the soul;
• you receive comfort and feel supported;
• feel joy and peace when communicating with him;
• feel and believe in the power of his prayer and mutual benevolence.

How to start searching for a spiritual father

In order for God to tell you how to find a spiritual mentor, you need to pray a lot and passionately. Starting the search, you need to take a closer look at the parish in which the priest conducts services. A good priest in the temple always has a benevolent atmosphere. It is worth talking with the parishioners, to find out their opinion about the pastor.

You should not go to distant lands, wondering where to find your spiritual mentor. He may be near and closer than you think. You don't have to tell anyone about your mentor when you meet him. religious life- it's private, and there's no need to expose it to the public.

Come often to the church you like. Open up to the priest at confession and pray for him, and then God will reveal his will through him. When communication with a clergyman takes place in confidence, then it is worth following the advice of the priest and, having received parting words, fulfill it. There is no need to come with one question or problem to many priests, hoping for a change in admonition.

There is no need to rush and call the first priest you meet your confessor. When visiting church, confess and ask the priest for advice about your pain. And then it is possible to meet a spiritual father close to you.

Communicating with parishioners, find out where to find your confessor, and which priest enjoys authority and respect from the flock.

You need to start reading with simple and understandable texts. Spiritual books will help you to correctly determine the goals and priorities in life.

Does a person need a spiritual mentor?

In any field of activity or in sports, a novice specialist, athlete or student always has a mentor. He helps to master the profession, shares experience, advice. The mentorship of a clergyman is aimed at achieving a student's strength of spirit, religious self-awareness and the fulfillment of divine commandments.

The relationship between a child and a confessor is not measured by the amount of time spent together. Sometimes a few sentences are enough to calm the soul and resolve issues. It is important to follow all the advice received from the confessor.

In worldly life, it is important for families following the laws of God to confess to one confessor. It happens that emerging internal family problems can be solved together.

It is desirable for a churched person to keep a record of his sins and then confess them to the confessor as often as possible. It is believed that salvation is in a multitude of councils. Therefore, it is useful for the soul to seek answers to questions from several priests. But it is better to open thoughts and sinful thoughts only to your spiritual father.

Some believers do not know that, when going to the shepherd, they need to read the prayer: “Lord! Give me mercy and inspire the spiritual father to give me an answer according to your will. To entrust oneself to a spiritual father is The best way to get on the path to recovery. The devil will not be able to intervene where everything secret and sinful has been revealed to the confessor. It is important to obey your leader, because through him you obey God.

spiritual teacher

A confessor is like a teacher who reveals the true meaning of many things and the truth to his wards. A teacher, a spiritual mentor must expand the inner potential of the individual, influence him, make the spiritual world of the pupil consonant with his own.

Mentoring is also the confessor's prayers for sending him wisdom in teaching his students. This is his appeal to God in insoluble situations, a request for support from the Heavenly Intercessor in moments of doubt and helplessness. The spiritual father is responsible before Jesus Christ for the children entrusted to him.

Human spirit guides

On our way, we come across a lot of people who call and consider themselves spiritual mentors. Often they have their own teachings, schools, or they call themselves followers of famous spiritual figures. Such mentors have students, like-minded people and admirers who support their views and beliefs.

In addition, each person has his own invisible spiritual helpers. These include angels who protect and protect throughout life. If you manage to learn to understand them, then life will become much easier and simpler. Coming into the world together with the born baby, the angels leave it after death.

A believer who strives to follow God's commandments with a clear conscience and thoughts, in the face of adversity. They only strengthen beliefs and perfect his soul. Going to his confessor, he realizes that he is asking for advice not from a person, but from the Lord, who through the priest gives the necessary advice and blesses. The parting words of the spiritual father, carried out strictly, will lead to help from God. For the purpose of man's existence on earth is to purify his heart and feel the closeness of God.

You probably heard a lot that people have their own spiritual mentor, but you don’t know who he is and how to get your own spiritual mentor.

WHO IS A SPIRITUAL MENTOR - DEFINITION

Before we begin to understand what a spiritual guide is, let's ask ourselves a few questions! How religious are you? Do you often attend a church near your home or any other church? If you are not a believer and do not attend church, then it will be more difficult to spiritually understand who such a spiritual mentor is, but if you often attend church and are a fairly active Orthodox believer, then everything will be easier. We recommend that you read

Please note that in your church there is almost always the same priest who conducts various services and sacraments. Also pay attention to the person who helps you in Orthodox faith, if you don’t have one, then stop at the priest in your church.

So, now let's move on to the concept of who a spiritual mentor is, and this is exactly the one who instructs you on the path of the Orthodox faith, and if you have strayed from the path of God, he will return you to this path. Why did we start asking about the frequency of attending church, but because if you often attend church, then your spiritual mentor, even if not publicly, is the priest of this church, who guides you on the path of true faith. If the priest or rector of the church also often communicates with you, answers your Orthodox questions, gives everyday recommendations on the topic of your faith, which means that he is your spiritual mentor.

If you do not attend church and devote very little time to religion, but you have a very religious person who will always tell you about Orthodox holidays, will give any friendly recommendations on the spiritual life, it is this person that can be called your spiritual mentor.

WHAT SHOULD A SPIRITUAL GUEST BE

It cannot be said that your spiritual mentor never makes mistakes and is the ideal of the Orthodox faith, no, he is the same person as you, and also has the right to make mistakes, but he leads your soul along the true path, along the path of the Orthodox faith closer to God and eternal life. We recommend that you read

The main qualities that a spiritual mentor should have are:

It is good to be able to distinguish where is good and where is evil;
- Helps to follow the path of the Orthodox faith;
- Is an example for others in faith in God;

The above are the main qualities of a spiritual mentor, but if there are even more good qualities, the better.

WHO CANNOT BE A SPIRITUAL MENTOR

If a person cannot distinguish good from evil, he cannot in any way be considered a spiritual mentor. A person cannot be a spiritual teacher if he is deceitful and dishonest, a person who does not follow moral principles Orthodox faith. A spiritual mentor has no right to lie, steal, behave like the last animal, and also commit vile deeds.

You can not call a person a spiritual mentor if he is a fanatic who is not able to reason and accept other people's thoughts about other faiths. If a person is not able to reason and convince correctly, and any statement that contradicts the concept of this person infuriates him, then such a person is in no way a spiritual mentor, he is most likely a spiritually ill person.

A spiritual mentor is a real example for his students of how to live in the Orthodox faith if a person is not able to show his decent behavior an example to others, then he cannot be called a spiritual mentor. We recommend that you read