How to overcome shyness and become self-confident
Good afternoon dear readers of our blog! Let's try to deal with such an important question for many - how to overcome shyness. Sometimes in a large company or in a society with a couple or three strangers, you want to hide in a corner or merge with the wall. Become something gray, light green or, at worst, pink. For example, a mediocre picture from a nearby bookstore that no one pays attention to, or a ficus that has grown in a pot.
However, in such moments, we are consumed not only by timidity. Apathy or anger at ourselves appears in consciousness for the fact that we cannot open up, become bright, independent, cheerful and attract attention.
Not daring to take a step, we destroy ourselves and, bowing our heads, remain standing against the wall or go home, looking at the luminous shop windows and realizing that once again we have failed to overcome ourselves. How to overcome shyness, change, stop being afraid and become more sociable and confident? Perhaps the topic is so important that I invite you to discuss it today.
What is shyness?
Shyness is often spoken of as a character trait that does not allow you to openly express yourself and your interests. It is based on fear and self-doubt. Usually, the feeling of awkwardness manifests itself in childhood and further runs like a red thread through life. Failures, a failed career, dissatisfaction are strung on it.
You ask: “But what about those female or male images, the timidity of which is perceived as a highlight?” Yes, probably, rosy cheeks, a girl's lowered gaze, or the loneliness and strength of a man who does not flaunt his merits delight those around him.
But at the heart of the romance and attractiveness of such images are confidence and modesty. Fearfulness and excessive modesty harm their owner, prevent them from expressing and realizing themselves. Dissatisfaction and insecurity turn into aggression and hostility towards yourself and your loved ones.
Types of Shyness
Psychologists talk about external and internal shyness. Internally shy people look quite active, sociable, achieve success, but inside they experience tension and spend a lot of effort and time in order to appear confident.
Outwardly shy - timid, reserved, communicate little, try not to ask anyone about anything.
Scientists give another typology:
- Particularly shy - this category includes those who experience stress in most social interactions.
- Adapted shy - this group includes those who know how to relieve tension.
- Pseudo-shy - representatives of this type are characterized by isolation, autism, low self-esteem. The results of a personality test sometimes show poor self-control, a low level of self-organization, and the presence of personal problems.
Reasons for shyness
Most often, the roots of fear of communication should be sought in childhood. The charming timidity of the baby is a defensive reaction that allows you to hide behind your mother's back, find support and love in scary or unpleasant situations. The will and strength of the parents at some point cease to provide support and protection and begin to put pressure on the child, convincing him that he is weak and incapable of anything.
It also happens differently. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where mom or dad, the dearest people in the world, laughed at you, and then constantly reminded you all your life how funny it was? For example, you are 4 years old. Frightened by a neighbor who came to visit, you climbed under the table and sat there all evening, despite the attempts of adults to get you out of there.
They are not interested that this neighbor is a real witch. Yes, yes, you know this for sure, because one day you saw her with blue hair, and the next day she already had regular black hair. Or because she once shouted at her husband, and he, so huge and strong, a bit like a good-natured elephant, suddenly turned into a small gray mouse. Parents do not understand or perhaps do not want to understand their child, his feelings and experiences.
If the parents themselves are timid and not sociable, a tendency to display awkwardness can develop in children. From childhood, they get used only to this way of organizing communications with the world.
Gradually, the child begins to feel more comfortable only being at home, alone, communicating in a narrow circle of friends, trying not to show his desires and abilities in society. The world around, revealing great opportunities to a teenager, begins to disappoint and frighten. The girl dreams of the first kiss, but instead gets a big red pimple on her nose. The figure, which always seemed to her quite pretty, becomes the subject of ridicule.
Similarly, with guys - interest in technology, books becomes unfashionable, worthy of contempt. Weak muscles, inability to run fast, to play football well lead to the ranks of losers with low self-esteem and an inferiority complex. It is not always that someone really thinks badly about a teenager, it is enough for him how he sees himself. A stereotype of a weak, downtrodden, unsuccessful being is formed.
By the way, stereotypes are not so simple. It happens that boys or girls look quite successful, smart and popular among their peers. However, how difficult it is to stay on this bar! How much effort must be done to be on top every time! Fear of falling in the eyes of friends, teachers, parents sometimes leads to a desire to hide and stop communicating.
So, the main reasons for the shyness of the child are:
- upbringing;
- heredity;
- stereotypes and social anxiety;
- low .
However, no matter how deeply fearfulness of the outside world sits in us, we must fight it.
How to overcome shyness?
The question of how to overcome shyness is probably asked by many. First of all, you need to understand in what situations it manifests itself and why. Of course, you have known this for a long time, but try to make some diagnostics: determine when and how shyness most often manifests itself. When reading a report or giving a presentation? The next time you participate in a meeting or at a conference, prepare in advance, read your speech at home in front of a mirror, play it, formulate questions, answer them.
Remember, no one wants to poke around in your problems and phobias. People around you are more concerned about their own troubles. Does anyone around you seem perfect? But you also have qualities worthy of respect - do not forget this.
Communicate more with people around you to get rid of shyness
To get rid of shyness, you need to communicate - talk with neighbors, colleagues, standing in line at the store, playing sports. Live, real communication will allow you to realize yourself, make friends, start smiling and receive smiles in return. Go for a run - smile at an oncoming runner or cyclist, greet a baby waddling past with your hand. In communication, you can open up for yourself on the other side.
Decent appearance helps to feel confident. Try to update, put aside old clothes, imagine yourself as a beautiful, happy and confident person.
Movement is a very important assistant in the fight against isolation and fears. Do exercises at home, go jogging or just walk. The movement will help remove the clamps, loosen up, learn to regulate breathing.
Of course, on the way to overcoming shyness there will be difficult moments that will scare you, remind you of complexes, self-doubt, however, the main thing is to start, try to treat everything positively and learn to believe in yourself. I hope you found this article useful and interesting. And if so, subscribe to blog updates and share recommend us to your friends on social networks.
