Pakulya witch or magic of bad habits. Witch rules. About the book witch smudge, or the magic of bad habits. Kai Umansky The Pachkula Witch, or the Magic of Bad Habits

For many today, the concept of a witch may seem absurd. We are not at all accustomed to the idea that such people really exist and, moreover, they also have varieties. What are the differences between witches?

The answer to this question is very simple. Like all other people, witches differ in two ways: firstly, to which department they belong; secondly, what functions do they perform. The second sign is, of course, the qualification that comes from the level of development of their magical arts.

All witches can be divided into two main categories - black and white witches. White witches are those who are associated mainly with the elementals, i.e. spirits of nature, and have nothing to do with either hell or the devil. Of course, white witches can also cause damage if offended.

But for them, inducing damage is only an insignificant episode, the meaning of their activity is different. Such a person is initiated into the secrets of nature and the patterns of interaction between people and natural forces.

These are healers and soothsayers, some psychics and herbalists. Depending on the level of development, they can sometimes show simply incredible phenomena. But they never serve death, and declaring their actions as belonging to a devilish structure is about the same as declaring all nature to be a satanic creation.

Black witches are the exact opposite of white ones. They are directly connected with the infernal forces and are mainly engaged in inducing damage. The difference between them is determined by who exactly from the princes of darkness they serve. The damage they induce is also specific to certain hellish departments.

Infernal departments

There are five such departments. They are comparable to the action of various elements, therefore, induced damage causes the very diseases that astrologers attribute to the influence of these elements. The ancient sages believed that the forces - lower and upper - are symmetrical. This means that the elements themselves are dual.

They are controlled both from below and from above, and the constant struggle of light and dark forces has long ago upset all astrological balances, thus turning the revelations of astrologers into absurdity. And yet the action of these forces, although it cannot be correlated with the real movement of the constellations, influences our lives today much more actively, although it uses other channels.

The oldest and most influential is Office of Lucifer, the element of water. As you know, it controls most of the phenomena of vampirism. People associated with these forces tend to have a green aura. True, this is not yet an indicator of witch inclinations, but only one of their signs.

The green color also dominates spiritually: the one who depends on it becomes submissive, devoted and at the same time warlike in character. Sometimes this coloring is called the color of paranoia, since the person who possesses it cannot comprehend reality otherwise than as a constant battle with others.

He divides people into three groups - friends, enemies and neutrals. He is very close and devoted to friends, hates enemies. However, his manic suspicion very quickly translates all these categories into enemies who definitely need to take revenge.

Green color corresponds to specific diseases associated with the destruction of certain organs. These are, as a rule, diseases caused by a lack of energy: inflammation of the bronchi, liver, gallbladder and rectum.

The water witch often appears surrounded by a whole gathering of souls of deceased colleagues, whom she sends to work during the corruption. However, she is not able to control the action of subordinate forces to the end, and thus, light, according to her original plan, damage can become fatal.

The constant lack of vitality makes her look for them from others, and the induced damage is nothing more than vampirism. Her conflicts with people nearby are a constant search for reasons for damage, which, if desired, can always be found. After all, we all, as a rule, see the world not objectively, but the way we want to see it.

Psychologists have long identified this quality: we live in self-deception, adjusting the environment to our needs. Witches are no exception here: like everyone else, they know how to find a reason to explain their desires with a vital necessity.

The witch's gift does not always wake up in its true form, even if there is a predisposition to this. So, the witch (or witcher) of Lucifer can become anyone - even a sadist.

Office of Asmodeus paints his people blue. However, not only their own, since the aura of the person who received the damage takes on the color of the aura of the one who brought it. In the course of a lifetime, several dozen such influences can accumulate, and almost none of them is completely removed. Therefore, the aura of most people becomes multi-layered, under one color there are always many others.

Naturally, each color corresponds to a certain state of mind. The consequences of these influences were very precisely defined by the French, who created the expression: “blue fear”.

Indeed, the damage caused by the witches of Asmodeus causes a state of wild, panicky horror. It does not disappear with time, but simply goes into the subconscious, causing corresponding changes in the human body (nervous system disorders, hypersexuality and diseases of the genital organs).

The fact that fear can be expressed as increased sexual excitability is well known to both sorcerers and psychoanalysts. Most of the existing love spells use a blue component in themselves - an element of subconscious intimidation.

Thus, a person who has received such a “gift” begins to strive towards the source of fear, hoping to conquer the one he is afraid of by entering into a relationship with him. But this creates a lot of additional problems: blue, in addition, drives away financial luck.

In general, most of the induced damage leads not only to certain diseases, but also to poverty. In addition, at the junction of blue and green colors, there is such a disease as alcoholism. It often manifests itself as a result of love spells.

In general, almost all types of involtations can create material problems as a side effect. (with its black, charcoal color) specializes in just that. As a side effect, there is also an upset intestine, which is seen by the healer as stuffed with coal.

Interestingly, the witches of this clan often have a red aura - the color of someone else's stolen wealth. The red-black color of satanic sects is known to all, and it comes precisely from such an addiction. Why, then, in witchcraft is such great importance given to the theft of wealth?

The fact is that God controls the blessings of the earth. Those who rejected it, they also excommunicate from any "trough". The only way to provide for your needs is to take it all away from another. It is difficult to explain in detail exactly how this process is embodied in reality. But still it happens.

That is why so often you can see in poverty those who did not deserve it at all. But nevertheless, Satan is very sparing in distributing benefits to his chosen ones - his reserves are rather limited.

Yellow color, according to classical magic, belongs to department of Beelzebub. Although many associate him with Samael (according to a number of specific features). This is a kind of layer that protects the human consciousness from the direct influence of demonic forces. The layer is created by our fantasies, imagination and dreams.

This keeps us from collapsing too quickly. However, it cannot be argued that this force does not affect at all, it simply turns our destinies into a void in which nothing happens.

We replace reality with an illusion, and the subsequent effect is the destruction of the pancreas and the cardiovascular system. However, the vessels of the brain are affected to a greater extent, and in the end, insanity develops.

Not only witches themselves can have a yellow aura, but also members of their families for several generations. The yellow color is included, as an integral part, in the aura of witches of almost all "departments". Although this is destructive, it is still protection from the most terrible of the spirits of the abyss - the devil.

Usually infernal forces are associated with the princes of darkness, the elders of which we have already listed. But these creatures are just rejected archangels, according to existing beliefs, sent by God into a very long (perhaps eternal) exile. The devil himself is a much heavier and more sinister figure.

However, the most incredible thing about this figure is that he appears to be of human origin. Research in this area has yielded interesting results: this is a collective being, grouped around the soul of Cain. Actually, the devil is Cain, who has changed a lot over the past millennia.

This creature may look different. However, people who have seen what is at the very bottom of hell describe it as a whole mountain of meat torn into pieces, existing not only as a whole, but also performing certain actions. Devil witches, as a rule, have a yellow aura, under which this meaty substance is clearly guessed.

In this case, yellow protection is simply necessary, since not a single witch can withstand the emanations of anger and hatred emanating from this owner. Protection allows the witch to represent him personally for herself somewhat different than he really is.

Of course, until a certain moment, until time forces you to meet him face to face, merging into a single whole. But until that time, she attributes his qualities to all the people around her and wages a continuous war with them.

This class of witches is the most powerful and vicious, but also the most cautious. They avoid communication with people, preferring loneliness or locking themselves in a narrow circle of loved ones. Love affairs also occur in this circle, here the son often becomes the mother's lover, and the father may rape the daughter.

For people of this circle, such forms of communication are quite normal, and they constantly bring damage to their own children, trying to make them completely safe, that is, completely helpless in life. Sometimes, when cleaning people from such families from the influence of their parents, healers have to remove from them more than a dozen damage done by their own grandparents.

The class of yellow witches is incredibly power-hungry, and even more aggressive towards others. Their logic differs little from the logic serial killer, but they make such work less visible means.

They rarely belong to any circle; these are lone witches who can act no less effectively than a whole circle. They live, as a rule, for a very long time, and they die terribly.

After death, their relatives for generations cannot rid themselves of the complexes that are firmly entrenched in the family. Naturally, all of the listed varieties of witches are black.

witch family

There was such a case. Once the narrator happened to meet a young woman. Actually, this acquaintance was mostly business. In those years, he worked as a healer, and the woman turned to him for help. At first, nothing aroused doubts in the narrator, but soon he began to clearly feel something impure and very vicious in his patient.

There was a complete helplessness in her, an inability for fruitful work and any useful actions, but the extraordinary strength, the power of black witchcraft, was felt even deeper. Contrary to usual, this time his treatment did not give the expected effect.

The illnesses receded only for a while, then returned again, and soon he realized that all these were just consequences. The reason in this case was her secret activity - black magic. Some of the diseases could only have arisen as a result of communication with her terrible patron
- an infernal monster, whose complicity gave her power.

In those years, the healer did not yet have the power that he has now. But even then he was guided in his life by the statement of one great mystic: “Man cannot know exactly what God is. But he knows for sure that he is not God. Then man of sense avoids it."

“Indeed,” the healer thought naively, “after all, serving the evil spirit is, in fact, doom, born of madness. What are his reasons? The patient did not seem to give the impression of a stupid person, and he thought: maybe invite her to look into this issue?

It is possible to cope with evil spirits - for its expulsion, only the consent of the one who is associated with it is necessary. Unfortunately, he did not know then that the witch is likened to a drug addict, enjoying the results of her deeds and a sense of power. Of course, this only happens as long as she doesn't face a strong enough white mage.

But witches do not believe in victory over themselves, because in their understanding the devil is omnipotent. Apparently, therefore, they do not believe in their own doom, hoping for the invincibility of their patron. And they do not understand that they themselves are a victim and bear their sentence in themselves.

At the next session, the patient brought a photograph of her mother, who was also in need of treatment. Looking at her, the healer was horrified - this was a rare kind of "bloated" witch, so crowded negative energy, which simply could not exist if it did not dump its negativity on someone every day in the form of damage. Then the healer suggested a solution to the problem by exorcism.

That day he saw the patient for the last time. She never came again, perhaps believing that the healer had defiled her faith - the worship of the monster that became her god. But then he did not understand this, he wanted to unravel the mystery with which he was faced.

One evening, entering into meditation, he went on a kind of search. Before the inner eye, the city unfolded, the streets moved; a minute later, the healer saw the former patient in her apartment and asked the question: what did she decide? And then suddenly something black was revealed, blocking the whole house, and immediately three white goats flew up above the roof. What was it?

Much has been written about the astral exit; both Buddhist monks and advanced yogis do this. The same ability spontaneously, without any training, can manifest itself in black witches of the highest class (according to magic guides, these are witches of the fourth level). Black sorcerers, fortunately for us, do not rise to higher levels, but even this level can cause a lot of trouble for an unprepared person.

The flying witch is much more dangerous than the usual one. She singles out her astral body, into which her consciousness moves, having received the ability to exist separately from the physical body. So she can move anywhere.

Nothing prevents her from passing through the walls, she can penetrate any house without the knowledge of the owner. At the same time, it is natural to induce damage, directly and invisibly present next to the object of their aggression.

That is, being invisible, the witch performs the corresponding rituals directly near the victim. These are not fairy tales at all. Moreover, it is known about witches who are able to materialize their astral influence, inflicting very real wounds on the physical body of the victim. Is it possible to find such a creature? Yes, if you are a clairvoyant.

It is known that at the Sabbaths held in the Middle Ages, the devil appeared in the form of a goat. Thus, this form in the world of black magic can be considered a sign of some chosenness; it means that those who flew out of the house that the healer saw were the witches of the elite. Basically, there should have been two. Who was the third? The third could only be the patient's five-year-old daughter.

It was a family of tribal sorcerers who passed on power from generation to generation. Apparently, strength gave them some real benefit, and they valued it so much that they carried out initiation at a very early age so that no one in the family would lose such “valuable” abilities. And then he felt a slight shock, remembering that initiation must necessarily include ritual rape. And the closest relative should have performed it - in this case, apparently, the mother's brother.

Meanwhile, the goats were approaching. The Trinity was already flying up to the healer's house, and he clearly saw them with his inner vision. It was time to take action, and then he pronounced the spell of the prophet Elijah. A sudden astral storm tore the goats from the sky, crushed them and threw them to the ground.

Their images have disappeared; it was felt that they would come to their senses for a long time. This ended the attack. Years have passed since then, but the healer periodically recalls this incident and tries to understand what motivated the witches? In any case, there must be some common sense and incentives. Or, more simply, profit. What was it?

His patient's family was never rich. Wealth is below average, low ability to work, even in office work. Actually, witches of this type always appear like this - they are helpless and very predatory at the same time. Communicating with her, you clearly feel these qualities.

Love relationships in women of this kind have always developed unsuccessfully - all marriages ended in divorce. They were often raped, and the men of the family were periodically imprisoned. It is quite possible that this was a consequence of the influence that women had on them.

What remains? Only two advantages over other people. The first is the ability to effectively avenge the offense, to feel the strength in yourself. This force, let's say, is insignificant - the healer defeated them jokingly; but, of course, not all people are magicians.

Maybe there is something in this, but to dedicate one's life to such dubious satisfaction of one's ambitions is still too high a price. In order to get satisfaction from such a life, you yourself must constantly look for insults, which means becoming paranoid.

American ethnographers working in Africa noticed this feature: all the most powerful of the local sorcerers had a noticeable tendency to this mental disorder.

This is how black magic “twirls” life into a kind of ring, gradually becoming instead of a means to achieve the goal, the meaning of existence for the one who chose this path.

A person will fall into a vicious circle in which he constantly torments himself and those around him, and in his mind this form of life turns into the only conceivable reality. He simply ceases to believe in the existence of something else, everything seems natural and filled with common sense. And there is no way out of here.

The second important incentive is the sexual orgies of the covens, an unthinkable pleasure flowing on the verge of death. Few people know that death is often erotic, and touching it at certain moments gives certain sensations an insane power.

However, a moment inevitably comes when such sensations become already suffering, but the witch is no longer able to separate one from the other. To this is added a thirst for power, erotic in nature. And now, in the ecstasy of power and eros, the witch gradually plunges straight into hell, and all this does not stop with death.

True, soon the time of pleasure ends, as suffering grows, absorbing pleasant sensations. In the end, only suffering remains. But it is already too late to change anything - there is simply no strength for it anymore. Perhaps God really judges a person, but a person still passes his own judgment and makes it the meaning of life.

But the point here is not only in the sentence passed on the doomed from above. Those who embark on this path create many problems for everyone around them. To some extent, this is a direct consequence of the pressure exerted on them from outside. What can you do, in the end, life is a struggle.

The one who loses this fight often considers himself entitled to use forbidden methods, and sometimes - and the help of forces that are usually avoided in a different situation. Very often, black magicians become those who have nothing to lose in this life.

What do marriage, sect and board of directors have in common?
At first, you only think about how to get there, and once you get there, it’s only about how to get out.

Some time ago, witches came into fashion, and although now witches have long gone out of fashion, part of the people, by inertia, continues to break into places where, in fact, not only is it not smeared with anything, but, I would say, even wiped off what was once it was smeared.

They say that:

1. The witch is a wonderful creative profession.

For starters, I’ll say something terrible: there is no such profession as a “witch”.
There is no "human" profession, is there? Professions "smart person" or "good person"?
So there is no profession "witch". This is a way of life, thoughts and behavior, it is, if you like, an occupation, but it is not an occupation.
Who are the participants of TV programs about psychics? Showmen and showwomen. Show witches, if you will.
These are varying degrees of advancement and wisdom of a witch (or not a witch), but they are all teleheroes. This does not mean that they are less than a witch for this. But if you are not a show witch, but just a witch, then you have nothing to do in the TV box.
I'm not saying this as a show witch.

If someone sits from nine to five on the Arbat and reads Tarot in a queue, then this is the profession of "fortune teller", less often - "therapist", much more often - "carpet clown". This is selling your hobby at retail. Nearby they sell pictures on faience, embroidered felt boots, home-made brooms - this is all selling handicrafts to those who are interested. This is an occupation, but it has a distant relation to witchcraft.

Therefore, if the question "who to be?" “become a witch” hit your head, then look further. Witchcraft, like " good man", can be a huge plus in many occupations. But in itself, as an occupation, it will not replace a profession.

"Language specialist", "computer", "repairman", "witch", "musician" - there are no such professions.
These are areas of study.
There is a "simultaneous interpreter", "database programmer", "plasterer", "conductor".
These are specialties.
In combination with the field of occupation, they form the type of activity, including professional.

And the laws of professional growth, gaining the necessary experience, raising qualifications and improving skills apply to witches in exactly the same way as to linguists.

It’s not enough to be a witch, you must certainly understand what you want to do.

And then it takes a long time (and expensive) to learn it.

2. They say that a witch can do anything, so become a witch and solve any problem with witchcraft.

It is not true. More precisely, true, but it's not about witchcraft.
We are talking about certain techniques and techniques, about a certain life position that is inherent in witches and is considered an attribute of their lifestyle. Independence-manipulation-without-manipulation-warm corner-hearty dinner-harmony of external and internal-health-quietly sleeping conscience and high moral qualities-what else can you wish for yourself from the outside?

Regardless of what exactly is needed from the list, keep in mind that you can try to isolate one necessary technique for solving one problem, apply it and calm down.
A book called "spells" is available and sent to anywhere in the country.
Well, yes, not everything will work, every other time it’s crooked.
But no one becomes an electrician just because he has a burned out lamp in the kitchen!

If there is a problem in life, if there is no peace, love, in-life-happiness, then there is no need to take the elimination of this problem for a "call" and the need to be a witch. Replacing a light bulb with the entire housing office in full force and in tuxedos will cost less than a career change.

3. "I also heard that witches live richly."
Let's get right away: many gypsy witches live well. OK. Many of their neighbors - not related to witchcraft - also do not need. Is it not clear yet? OK.

What should a specialist do for a salary of 1000 rubles?
- Nothing, and even a little harm.

The point is that if a witch decides to "live richly" at all costs, then she will have to give up a lot. Including - something from what actually attracted her to the Craft.

Freedom of expression, for example.

Let's say there is a conditional salon (website), where for a small (hmm) bribe you are offered to solve problems. And the case is argued, and the client goes. Let's say a nearby shop sells plush tracksuits "identical to the originals." And the case goes well, and the client is again satisfied. And behind the next door they offer to quickly build up nails and varnish them for 500 rubles and 20 minutes.
It is logical that in all cases the price corresponds to the quality, but everything is optimally fair (a suit is a suit, a layout is a layout, nails? Here they are, all ten. Oh, nine. The subject of the transaction is obvious). But dear ones, all of you, aspiring to "witch", know how to sell plush costumes? know how to promote pink acrylic to the masses?
Do you know your client? What about your product?
For example, do you know that retail magic requires good dry guessing? More precisely, not good, but uniquely good. And what is desirable to do it on playing deck, and certainly not on fantasy collectible decks?
This is the same prose of life as the fact that people do not like gray plush suits identical to the original ones.
Pink and black with gold go first.
Your taste and common sense are of no interest to anyone, because this is not about witchcraft at all.
We are talking about a segment of the market, and if you do not have the talent and desire to "please fashion", then neither with shiny claws, nor with "spread quickly for love" will not work out.

By the way, witchcraft does not at all add philanthropy and tolerance, and for many it also takes away what little that was. And where, in your opinion, will followers and grateful customers come from with such an approach?

Therefore, "serve and please" others for witches, especially non-human witches, is not typical. And if so, then the more you are a witch, the less you want to integrate even for profit.

If you have enough money, then you do not have enough imagination.

And, of course, there is the witch's wonderful ability to "master any budget." And it is true: the pumping of flows, including cash flows, is carried out not just like that, but by a request to the World “for urgent needs”. As soon as somewhere a convincing stream is directed at the witch, then she needs hoo!

Well, who else can purchase and pay for the delivery from the other side of the earth of a “cast-iron cauldron with three legs with a Celtic ornament”? Who else can't live without a dozen meters of perfect copper wire? Or two? Who else, finding that decks don't fit in their designated chest of drawers, buys a new chest of drawers?

The level of comfort, yes, but the golden mountains - no.
Who wants the golden mountains - you need to move in the opposite direction, seriously.

4. Ah, witches are so loved by men! You will be a witch, there will be no end to marriage proposals.

Dear ones, I can actually hear the laughter of my colleagues off-camera.
On the one hand, this is a fact - a witch is both externally and internally more interesting than a simple woman with her simple human activities and desires. Another thing is that simple human activities and desires of a woman, for all their "ordinary" nature, are obviously valuable in that they imply a certain development of events according to the same "female" scenario.
"Small house, Russian stove..." Remember? There, Zabava and Vanya had a common dream: they agreed on that.
Yes, it’s not so easy to like each other, but if you find and make friends ....

But witchcraft puts priorities on its head (well, by our standards, on the contrary).
And despite the fact that the witch already likes a lot more people, and, as it were, she has more choice, for herself this choice becomes tiny. She no longer needs "children in a crowd in the house" as an end in itself, a man as a "stone wall" is not required, and in general the bar has soared into the heavens and was lost in the clouds.

In fairness, I note that after a detailed acquaintance this is perfectly noticeable, and therefore men did not give up this happiness in the form of a witch on their heads either. In fact, for witches, that for witchers, the search for a life partner turns into the quest "Find your own", smoothly turning into another "Now try not to strangle each other."

Because the witch in the classic version is in demand and attractive - yes. But alone and on her own.
Not to mention that almost all witches of the third age are left alone: ​​these are the costs of the workshop, Crafts, Traditions.
Exceptions are rare and happen only if the witcher-witch pair is more valuable to the world than the Crone-Witch.
Old women are rare in general - so think about it, what are the chances?

In a word, if you absolutely need to "zamush", then I definitely and categorically do not advise you to "become a witch".

5. The witch is ideally, absolutely free, and if I am a witch, then I turn what I want.

He painted the prison bars. And no one understood from which side freedom ...

And how! But for some reason, the opposite is not obvious to most.
Everything that you, little dove-witch, heaped up ... yes, yes, this nightmarish and absurd everything is exactly what you wanted, ordered, and most importantly, it's all for you to clean up now.

Regardless of whether you are conjuring for yourself and on your own, or, conjuring, you work for a third party, the witch has no bosses and is not responsible. You can't just "turn off and do what they say", it stops working.

Neither parents, nor partners, nor the board of directors, nor the government can no longer be abstract "goats".
Any strange and unpleasant situation will immediately put you in the position of "what did you do to make it not like that?"
And it suddenly turns out that bureaucracy is evil, but it has not existed since yesterday, and it was necessary to fuss with documents two weeks earlier; that parents are not obliged to solve the housing issues of children; that the partners pull the blanket over themselves, and this will always be the case when someone is too lazy to read the fine print.

Even if formally there is a responsible person above the witch, it is organically inconvenient for her to thoughtlessly obey. Internally, the witch is constantly in conflict with stupid leaders. Moreover, the conflict has to be resolved by one's own strength and veins, although in dealing with "non-witches" this, it turns out, was a headache for the boss!

Others manage to bend psychologically, but the World, in turn, does not allow you to relax, and situations all the time develop in such a way that you have to make and make decisions.

The witch cannot “just do what she loves”, she turns out to be the boss of a very headstrong and often rather mean and lazy creature: herself. And until this creature is properly brought up, not organized and not obedient, instead of blissfully harvesting the fruits of her wisdom, the witch is forced to drill herself all the time.

And it is worth being lazy to the "inner boss" - the spirit, then laziness instantly infects the "internal subordinate" - the body.

And self-discipline and self-restraint will not pass.
The world insistently demands that all this be sincere, from pure heart, with a complete twist of the soul inside out and to tears from the eyes: "voluntarily and with a song," as they say.

Doctor, I have office sickness!
- And what are the symptoms?
- I always want to eat before lunch,
sleep after dinner
and it feels like they don't pay enough!

Like this? For example, you always know who is to blame if you are late for something. Because awareness is enough to either guess a transport for yourself, or conjure it, or, in the end, calculate the time correctly. No traffic jams, alarm clocks that didn't go off, sick hamsters.
Full awareness cancels "getting sick." Since he fell ill and could not do something, it means that he did not want to.
If he didn’t want to, but he promised, then he sabotaged.
For people, "sick" works: they can really get sick, if not by accident, then at least unconsciously. A witch doesn't just get sick, and she knows it.

The principle of honesty with oneself (and one of the rules of witches is not to lie) actually removes all the opportunities to give yourself an indulgence. More precisely, you can play the fool as much as you like, but only with the full realization that you, dear, are playing the fool. But you are not "sick", you are not "looking for material for a report" and you are not "stuck in a traffic jam".

The self-hosted option launches the most evil and cunning hostess into the system, who sees everything, knows everything and understands everything: the witch herself. Leaves "no one sees me." You always see yourself, you always evaluate and judge yourself. But there is still a coven, and the gods are above the coven ... And let them not withdraw bonuses and do not reprimand: their discontent is felt even more acutely precisely because you are a witch.

Therefore, dear ones, although the picture I have drawn is rosy, it is worth considering whether you want to step on the seven-color ghostly bridge.

The time has come. The result of many months of preparation should be embodied today. The full disc of a silvery moon emerged from behind the clouds, chasing away the darkness and allowing a better view of the site of the ritual.

A perfectly level and stoneless patch of land in the midst of moorland, strewn here and there with fragments of nearby mountains and undersized stocky trees that firmly dig into the ground with deep roots to withstand the big snow and stones often brought with them by pre-spring avalanches.

Illuminated by moonlight, an open area of ​​​​this woodland, especially against the backdrop of a real dense and impenetrable forest that began a little further from the mountains, looked like a true island of peace and lifeless peace. However, he also evoked a feeling of absolute loneliness. In the daytime, when the sun is shining, insects are buzzing, birds are chirping and the wind is humming, everything looks different, somehow ... ordinary?

I sighed quite a bit. A strange place fell to me this time.

Very rarely my fortune-telling does not come true, but today it happened just like that.

Arriving at a long-chosen place for rituals, I suddenly felt: not that! It was unbearably drawn to go further, not a pebble, not a branch on the way - as if someone had spread a carpet of grass. How not to go? It seems that fate itself directs me, making it clear that plans need to be changed. Who am I to argue with her?

“You don’t need to spend magical powers on lighting,” and I moved on.

It was a lowland, quiet and calm. In our area, there are few predators at all (why would they leave the forest full of animals?), and it is quite difficult to meet someone even in summer. But if my usual place for rituals was considered a witch's place in the district, but was located on the outskirts of human lands, then the lowland is already on common lands.

Tormented by uncertainty, I nevertheless came to a new place and now looked around on the site. But a witch will not be a witch if she does not follow the signs of fate. Looking at the sky, I decided: the moon still has not disappeared behind the clouds, which means you need to take advantage of the moment and start.

After arranging the stones to form a pentagram and laying out the ingredients, I untied the lace on my cloak, allowing it to slide down smoothly, and was left naked. It is necessary to appeal to the original magic in its original form.

Of course, there was no one around: the land next to the witch's dwelling is not the most attractive place for people to walk at night. Especially on a full moon! And also the territory of werewolves, starting beyond no man's land, where fate has led me today ...

But if someone was brought into this night, which is considered unkind by people, for a small patch of woodland, now chosen by the witch, they would see a wonderful vision! All this is nonsense about outwardly frail old women with warts on their noses.

Why are people so stupid and fearful that, coming to us with prayers for an elixir eternal life and maintaining health, they don’t think of it: first of all, we use knowledge and magic to endlessly prolong our own youth!

I am like a true witch, nature is completely shameless and freedom-loving. Eternal human fears and the shackles of far-fetched morality are alien to me, I do not submit to the hierarchy of obedience to the strongest that prevails over werewolves. Indeed, witches are the freest representatives of our world!

I can afford everything that my soul wants or wants the forces living in me ancient magic. Summon a demon, take a lover (and we need to somehow prolong our family!), seduce someone else's husband, leading the righteous astray, walk naked on a moonlit night, soar high into the sky on a broom ... yes, at least eat a baby (and such a whim will come to some in the head!), as envious matrons invariably say about me to their children, nervously shuddering every time their husbands see me off with long glances.

And there is something to see!

Now, in the light of the moon, her full breasts, as if rushing towards the silvery glow, heaved upwards, the nipples that crowned her swelled and pointed. The perfect flexible female body, half-hidden by shadows, looked breathtaking, bewitching until it was impossible to take your eyes off. Slender legs seemed unusually long, the lines of the hips - alluringly feminine. The face, raised to the sky, illuminated by the glare of the moon, shone with vitality, passion ...

The wind blew from the north and, shivering, I decided to start. Simple words in the ancient language sounded as they fell and created a magical "rebound", sorcery swirled around me, calling otherworldly forces. Today I called out to the dead, asked them to come and help, by advice or deed ...

Everything went as it should, I even saw a girl - pale in a light whitish dress. She staggered towards me, and ... tears rolled down her cheeks.

Stop! The dead don't cry!

Feeling the presence of an alien creature, and even in clothes, the forces of elemental magic disappeared, witchcraft fell away - the ritual was thwarted. Rrr… Now wait at least three months to repeat again!

Who dared to interfere with the sorcery of a witch?!

What are you doing here? I stamped my foot in anger. “At least you understand how you interfered with me, not to mention the fact that magic could kill an outsider?”

I don't care, - the stranger limply settled on the grass and broke into sobs. - I'm going to die soon anyway.

And you can’t tell from the outside, - I looked at the young girl with an ironic look.

I was… poisoned and now I won’t be able to get to our lands, to the lord, to my brother…

Shame on my powers!

I just realized who is in front of me. Werewolf! And only a clan of snow leopards lives nearby. Most likely, she is one of them. But at the moment it is in the common lands and, apparently, it came from afar.

Why aren't you with yours now?

For some reason, I lived among people for a long time,” she murmured.

“But sooner or later everything secret becomes clear, and now, having begun to see clearly, the villagers naturally turned out to be not enthusiastic about the neighborhood, and immediately found a reason to kill or expel. Suddenly, cattle began to disappear and stuff like that. People are very cruel creatures - it was not difficult to think out a story. “And also: they won’t let her get to theirs.”

As if in confirmation, approaching voices were heard - the thirst for persecution turned out to be stronger than the fear of the full moon.

“I can hide, leave the girl here. Then the pursuers, having received what they want, will calm down. I can stay and help, but I just don’t understand why I need this and what is my benefit?

Yes, I am a witch! The usual cynical, mercenary, selfish and headstrong witch. And I don’t do only good, or only bad - I’m looking for my own interest in everything. And today, fate sent me here ... for some reason. Or for someone?

Sighing, I dispelled the remaining magic across the clearing, added smoke to hide the smell of the girl from the dogs, hastily gathered my magic accessories into a bundle, threw on a cloak and, grabbing the girl by the armpits, pulled her up. I am stronger than an ordinary human woman!

Let's go, I'll hide you unreasonable, at the same time I'll see what's wrong with you.

Having almost lost consciousness, the stranger did not answer, only glimpsed me with a semi-conscious look. And only when we almost reached the place I needed, she murmured.

Why do you need it? Witches do nothing without benefit to themselves.

So I often ask myself: why do I do some strange things. Consider: you are incredibly lucky today, fate and luck are on your side, - I grimaced, remembering the signs that made me change the place of the ritual.

Are witches superstitious? People think all this is nonsense, - the suspicion in her did not subside.

Witches are very superstitious, - I muttered, puffing and dragging the stranger into a small dugout, which I had already made and equipped for myself a long time ago. You never know what ... And now, it came in handy! - People are stupid. Fate must be able to listen and obey.

Having placed the girl on the couch, I activated the protective weave around the dugout, and the magic hid us from prying eyes. I heard the noise of feet running past, angry voices, screams and calls to find, tear to pieces.

No-no. Not today.

1. A reasonable witch does not consider herself the highest stage in the development of mankind. She is no better or worse than any other creature in this world.

2. A sane witch knows she's not perfect. None of us is omniscient or omnipotent.

3. No witch will ever know EVERYTHING about herself and the world.

4. The witch is sensitive to natural cycles (monthly, lunar, seasonal, sometimes astrological).

5. A wise witch does not abandon the world of people and things for the sake of a ghostly world of illusions and fantasies.

6. There is nothing that a witch would have to know. She may or may not know whatever she pleases.

7. The body, consciousness, sensations and feelings of a witch are all she is. The modern witch does not give up one in favor of the other, nor devalue the body, mind, or emotions of choice.

8. A decent witch is responsible for her actions. Her actions are hers too.

9. The more enemies and admirers a witch has, the more "paranormal" effects around her.

10. A witch doesn't have to be religious to be a witch.

11. A witch doesn't have to hate, despise, or fear men to be a witch.

12. A witch doesn't have to be a bitch or a nymphomaniac.

13.modern witch may or may not be a vegetarian.

14. A good witch is sensitive to her dreams.

15. The witch receives clients and works with them in accordance with her own techniques.

16. An experienced witch does not always take clients at their word.

17. A good witch hones her skills.

18. A clever witch is sometimes self-digging. Just for revision.

19. A normal witch is mistaken for one by other sorcerers and witches outside of her normal environment.

20. An honest witch keeps records of her fortune-telling: what is the question, what happened, interpretation and what really happened.

21. A decent witch doesn't work in a magical salon.

22. A witch is an intermediary between this world and others, and not a teacher of life.

23. A good witch herself comes up with her rituals.

24. A far-sighted witch does not practice witchcraft for the benefit (or harm) of her close friends, lovers or relatives.

Witch's Creed

Now listen to the witch's words.
Secrets hidden in the night
In those days when we hid in the dark,
Now you can bring it to light.
Magical water and fire
Earth and omnipresent air.
We know all about the hidden essence in them,
We know, but we are silent.
Birth, rise and death
The coming of winter and summer
Behind all the secrets of nature
We follow our magic dance.
Four times a year the great sabbath
Comes and the witches dance again
On All Saints' Day, on Lammas,
Around the fires and on the Imbolg holiday.
When day and night are equal,
And on the longest day, and on the shortest day,
Again the witches are together and celebrate
Four other, smaller covens.
There are thirteen moons in a year
And there are thirteen witches in the circle,
thirteen golden days
In a year, and thirteen months.
In all years and all ages
At the beginning and at the end of time
Man and woman lay down
And both were filled with power.
When by sword, knife or sorcery
A magic circle is outlined,
Then he will immediately connect the two worlds -
Our earthly world and the world of shadows.
The earthly world is stupid and blind,
And the world of shadows knows everything, but is silent.
And in the circle boils witchcraft
And called ancient god.
At the entrance to the dark crypt
There are columns. Two of everything
Like two beginnings in nature,
That form the power of spirits and gods.
Light and darkness overtake each other,
Light becomes darkness, darkness becomes light.
So often the wise men said
Talking about a goddess with a god.
The king of shadows, horned at night
Riding on the wild wind
But in the light of day
He wanders through the forest glades in a businesslike way.
She can be a young girl
Sailing at midnight in a boat under the moon.
But if she pleases, she can become
And an ancient old woman whispering spells.
They are immortal - the flow of time
It only refreshes them. They are subject to
Any witchcraft, and even souls
They are capable of binding or letting go.
So let's drink wine in honor of the god and goddess,
And we will dance, entwined in our arms,
When the hour strikes, the doors will open for us,
Leading to the elves, to a magical land.
We can do whatever we want.
There is no resentment when there is love in the soul.
Only one commandment
When we conjure, we do not forget.
Here is the witch's creed, seven words:
Do what you want - just do no harm.

Who is this witch? The witch, contrary to popular belief and understanding, is not at all an evil harmful witch, sending pestilence, damage, all sorts of hardships and diseases on unwanted people. According to one version, the word "witch" means "knowing mother". So the image evil old woman does not correspond to reality. Who is the real witch?

First of all, a born witch owns knowledge. And not just owns, but constantly improves, replenishes, develops this knowledge. That is, it is not easy: I bought a book by some supposedly Siberian healer and you conjure right and left. No, before you start practicing, you need to study yourself. It is necessary to accumulate, process, systematize a huge amount of information, which for the most part concerns self-knowledge and work on improving one's own spirituality. The danger lies in the fact that, having begun to know oneself, to acquire knowledge, a person can completely, radically change. A woman can suddenly realize that a career that once seemed so infinitely important and desirable, it turns out, she does not need it at all, for example. The value system, the attitude towards oneself and the world around is changing. The food system and the whole lifestyle can change.

Simple rules for a beginner witch. by the most important point for a woman who has decided to take the path of a witch, it is an acquaintance with the lunar cycles, their in-depth study. It is also necessary to monitor your own monthly cycle. It is important to compare these cycles, natural and personal, to analyze your well-being, both physical and mental, in different periods and phases of the moon. Hence the need to harmonize one's state, to learn self-control, introspection. And all this is in conjunction with the lunar cycle. First rule: watch the moon.

Also, an important factor on which the success of any woman in various fields of activity depends to a greater extent is taking care of her appearance. A real witch will never allow herself to be ugly. Clean hair, skin, body, well-groomed hands, neat clothes, a pleasant unobtrusive aroma - the key to a woman's success at all times. The second rule: watch your appearance.

At the same time, one should not forget that even the most well-groomed woman cannot be considered beautiful without inner beauty, inner radiance, without spiritual warmth. A toned body and beautiful facial features do not make a girl a beauty. Only inner strength, radiance from within, the light of the soul and a slight sincere smile addressed to people, to life, make a woman beautiful. Rule three: be happy.

It should be taken into account that this rule is the most important, key, without the strict implementation of which it will not be possible to become a real witch. In order to learn to be happy, to live in harmony with oneself, to trust the Universe and to receive with gratitude what is needed here and now, one does not need special abilities, money and so on. Enough desire and patience. desire to create. Because to be a witch means to create yourself, your life as your heart and conscience tell you.

Where to start the path of the witch? First of all get a notebook. You can design the cover the way your soul asks. Bring two pens to the notebook: for example, red and blue. Print and paste the standard gynecological menstrual calendar into your notebook. Also print out and paste in your notebook the lunar calendar for the next month. Set aside some time in the morning and evening to take notes. If possible, then for this lesson you can come up with a special ritual: light a candle of any color of your choice, scent the room, in general, anything if you want to create an atmosphere. What to write down? Be sure to write the date of entry. This will allow us to evaluate the results in the future. Describe your state of health, mood. In the morning you can talk about the plans for the day, in the evening - take stock. Indicate the lunar day, the phase of the moon, and the day of your menstrual cycle.

Relevant for a witch healthy lifestyle which many find boring. However, if you decide to take the path of a witch, you will have to reconsider your habits (maybe some will need to be abandoned), diet, and so on. The witch is forbidden everything that can cloud the mind: alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, overeating, antidepressants and more. Write down everything you eat and drink during the day. Describe your feelings from eating (feeling of satiety, pleasure, pain, discomfort, etc.). Write the help of which doctors and for what reason you needed and how often lately.

more often get out into nature: in the forest, in the field, in the mountains. If possible, do this at least once a week. It is very useful to visit water bodies: sea, lake, river, pond - anything to sit on the shore, contemplating or thinking. Learn to clear your mind of thoughts, relax.

At home create an atmosphere of love and warmth. Forbid yourself to swear and complain (about life, about the weather, about the mother-in-law, about the absence of the mother-in-law, about the husband, about the absence of the husband, etc.) It will take some time to learn all of the above. Schedule a date when you can identify yourself as a witch. For example, after 12 months. Think carefully initiation ritual, decide on the place where you will spend it. And be sure to take notes. If by the specified date you feel not ready, it does not matter, continue to know yourself by shifting the date to a more convenient time.

The Question of Religion. Any woman can become a witch, regardless of religion. Most likely, over time, dual faith will come, and later a return to the origins (paganism). This is an expected scenario, but not required.

So it becomes clear that being a witch does not mean at all wearing black robes, flying on a broomstick, pulling down a pointed hat with wide brim. Being a witch is an art, knowledge, willpower and constant work on yourself, on your ego, your vices.

Kai Umansky

"Unlucky guys", or Full tram-ram

The Adventures of the Patchkuli Witch

Witch Pachkula, or Magic bad habits

Patchkula Witch and the Olympic Games in the Unlucky Forest

Patchkula the Witch and the Revenge of the Goblins

Witch Pachkula and the elixir of desires

Patchkula Witch and Crazy Vacation

Witch Pachkul and unlucky theater

"Unlucky guys", or full tram-ram

Chapter first

Sheluponya

Where are you going, I wonder? the witch named Mymra asked in a stern voice. She was cooking something in the kitchen and stood with her head stuck deep into the oven, but despite this, she heard the creak of the door opening.

To the rehearsal, - the frail little devil muttered in response, trampling on the threshold. It was Sheluponya, Mymra's assistant, and he definitely intended to sneak out of the house for the whole evening. The tuft on his head was thickly gelled, his claws painted black, and he was clearly in a hurry.

But today is not Wednesday, - Mymra noticed, getting out of the oven. Flames danced at the tip of her hat, and she nailed them down with a wet towel.

We have an extra run.

What else is this? Musical jargon?

Translate.

We need to repeat everything we play. Learn something new. In short, refresh the repertoire. Got it, dude?

Don't you dare call me a dude. Call me "Miss".

Okay, ma'am.

And don't you dare say okay. Say yes.

OK. Then, in general, yes.

How many times do you have to be reminded that assistants must treat witches respectfully. And do not express yourself in front of them in this disgusting jargon of yours. How long to wait for you?

No idea. That is, I wanted to say that I do not know.

You have to help me clean up.

Mymra waved her wet towel at the mountain of unwashed dishes, piles of spilled flour, and sticky puddles on the floor. She'd been baking pies all day for the witches' party on Saturday. Sheluponya, instead of helping her, sat all day, locking himself in his room, turning on the radio to its fullest and not paying attention to the insistent knock on the door and calls for help.

Better ask for a broom, - suggested Sheluponya.

Mymrina's broom squirmed unhappily in the corner.

She has a lot of things to do. Plus, it won't fit in the oven.

Broom nodded approvingly. Her duties included sweeping floors and flying, but not cleaning ovens.

Okay, I'll help when I get back, - Sheluponya promised.

Something is unbelievable.

Honestly, ma'am. You will see.

OK then. But to be at home before midnight.

It's cold outside, you can take my scarf. The cute one with egg yolk stains.

No, thank you, - Sheluponya hurried. - Well, that's it, ciao, I'm washing off, okay?

I'm sorry, what did you say? Mymra raised her eyebrows in surprise.

But Sheluponya was already rushing away along the path, snapping his fingers loudly, once again making Mymra think deeply about why she was impatient to hire a little devil as an assistant.

She flippantly bought into the advertisements from the "Helpers for You" catalog, which at the time was offering devils at a deep discount, since apparently no one was taking them. They placed a luxurious ad, where they presented the product in the best possible way:

THE DEVIL

Dexterous, hard-working assistants who will be around the house all day, busying, cooking, cleaning and entertaining you with casual conversation, while you, his mistress, will relax, lying on the sofa and eating cookies. Indispensable in the household. Anything will be repaired.

Trained to assist with witchcraft: cast spells, dance around the cauldron, collect herbs. Delivery next day. THIS MONTH - WITH DISCOUNT! ORDER RIGHT NOW!

Mymra was not a very economic witch and liked to sleep on the couch with a bowl of cookies, and therefore immediately pecked at the ad. However, the mention of the discount played a decisive role, since Mymra, like all witches, adored sales. She immediately submitted a request and began to look forward to when her little devil would appear and begin to cook and clean.

She waited a day. Then another. And further. She eventually filed a complaint with the company, which sent a catalog and promised fast shipping. However, the employee of the company spoke to her very unkindly and did not want to apologize for the delay, even after Mymra threatened him with her newest, especially sophisticated spell, which made her ears itch, her shoes smelled of burning, and marzipan sharks appeared in nightmares at night.

The ungracious clerk was adamant and claimed that they sent her the order in a timely manner and it was not their fault if it got lost along the way. “Expect the bill for the services rendered by mail,” he said.

Mymra said she didn't have to pay for something she didn't get, but the obnoxious employee replied that she did and referred to the warning in the small print at the bottom of the ad. Mymra had to put up with it, but her mood deteriorated sharply.

Finally Sheluponya showed up. He had no luggage with him, except for a drum kit packed in big round boxes stacked on a handcart. He didn't say a word about where he'd been all this time. When Mymra nevertheless demanded an explanation from him, he muttered something unintelligible about the fact that he urgently needed to drop in on one guy for one business. Then he asked to see the room provided to him, which he immediately repainted black and hung with musical posters.

It was a long time ago, but since then Sheluponya has not changed at all.

In vain Mymra waited for him to start running around the house. Sheluponya just wandered aimlessly from corner to corner. He did not fuss, but only clapped his ears. And instead of entertaining the hostess with casual conversation, he muttered all sorts of nonsense under his breath. He had no idea how to run a household and never held tools in his paws. And it was impossible to let him come close to witchcraft. He usually reclined in his chair with his eyes half closed and tapped the rhythm on the armrest with his fingers while cakes burned in the oven, kitchen shelves collapsed under the weight of piled dishes, and the potion he was supposed to watch boiled down to a drop.

He was forever forgetting the words of the spells. Dancing around the boiler, he constantly carried some kind of gag and spoiled the whole recipe. He could never distinguish one grass from another, for his thoughts soared away from vain affairs. Yes, he was not an exemplary assistant, but ...

In spite of everything, Mymra had the warmest feelings for him and deep down she was even proud of him. Because none of the other witches had assistants playing in a real musical group.

Say hello to the guys for me! Mymra shouted after the retreating little devil. She felt guilty for being angry with him. Rehearsals were for Sheluponi the meaning of her whole life, and she knew it very well. He could not wait to sit down again at his drums, which, by the way, the witch forbade him to keep at home. He was ready to rehearse all night long, but Mymra set strict limits. She tirelessly repeated that being an assistant was his main job. She almost daily had to apologize for his behavior to other witches, who believed that he was too dismissive. But still…

Kai Umansky

Patchkula Witch, or the Magic of Bad Habits

Chapter first

Merry housewarming

Oh, Rogue, my dear! - exclaimed the witch Pachkula with a feigned smile, rolling away a huge boulder that covered the entrance to her cave. - Such a surprise! Welcome to my humble home. You look great, honey! New hairstyle? Or is life so patted you that your hair stood on end? Haha, never mind, I'm just joking! Come on, come on! Let me hang your cap.

She grabbed the guest's pointed hat and with ostentatious care blew off an imaginary speck of dust from it, but as soon as Rogue turned away, Pachkula immediately threw her headdress into the farthest corner.

Not such a surprise, since you yourself invited me, - Rogue grumbled, carefully walking into the cave. - Are you getting into friends again, Pachkulya? Don't bother, because I'm personally not sure if I even want to hang out with you again. So stop sucking up.

Pachkula really went out of her way to please Rogue. However, she had very good reasons for that. In fact, she and Rogue were considered best friends, but just the other day they had another quarrel, and now Pachkula was afraid of inadvertently complicating their already difficult relationship.

Rogue, are you still angry? Stop, what was, is gone. Tell me, how do you like my new cave? It's only been a week since I moved. By the way, you are my first guest!

Grimacing, Rogue glanced around the cave with contempt.

Pachkuli's dwelling was a sad sight. It was terribly damp here, slimy green moss grew wildly on the walls, and muddy puddles gleamed here and there on the floor. Broken old furniture was cluttered up in the corners, and, to top it all off, a thick and suspiciously black smoke poured out of a pot in which a disgusting-looking slurry bubbled.

Rogue, my dear, sit down, make yourself at home, - Pachkula fussed, helping the guest to take off her robe, which, however, immediately flew into the nearest puddle.

Something I don’t see where I could sit down here, - Rogue muttered.

Yes, at least for this box. Sorry, I didn't have time to arrange the chairs. It's always like this with these moves - a hundred years will pass before you put the house in order.

You have never been in order, - grumbled Rogue. "By the way, what's that nauseating smell?" Looks like a dead skunk.

He is, - happily confirmed Pachkulya. - My dinner tonight. The signature dish is skunk chowder. Adore! By the way, it's time to stop her. She grabbed a ladle and slammed it into the bubbling mush.

Some kind of nightmare, - mumbled Rogue, who managed to regret ten times that she agreed to come at all. - Is there really skunk stew?

I knew that you would appreciate it, - Pachkula perked up. Now tell me honestly - do you like me? I know, I know, the cave is a bit damp, and you can’t call it spacious, but I got it almost for nothing. The only annoyance is that there are goblins all around, but unfortunately I can't afford anything better at the moment. So how are you here?

Some kind of swamp, - said Rogue. - A vile uninhabitable dump. Dirty and smelly. The worst cave I have ever been to. In a word, just for you.

Precisely, - Pachkulya blurted into a smile. - That's what I need. It is a pity, of course, that there are only goblins around. Well, enough about them, let's better treat you to some stew. How much would you like?

Uh, perhaps half a teaspoon will be enough, - Rogue rattled in fright. - I had a big lunch today. Yes, and the stomach is playing tricks ...

Nonsense, - Pachkula snorted and slammed a greasy plate in front of Rogue, filled to the brim with stew. - Eat plenty, do not be shy. By the way, I want to ask everyone, what kind of perfume are you wearing? But wait, don't say it, let me guess... "Night at the fish factory", right? And you can’t take your eyes off your new hairstyle at all! It suits you very much, my dear, it emphasizes the shape of the nose very favorably!

Do you really think so? - Cheered Rogue, because she could not resist such subtle flattery. She rummaged in her purse, pulled out a cracked mirror, and once again looked at her disheveled tresses with satisfaction.

Many, probably, during their lives managed to get acquainted with representatives of evil spirits: witches, goblins, sorcerers, trolls, ghosts, spirits, vampires, poltergeists, etc. But I bet that these meetings have always been at the moment of the struggle between good and evil. How about getting to know witches better? I mean getting to know them everyday life and not while they are working. Do you know, for example, where witches live, what they eat, with whom they are friends, why they gather at sabbats, how long they live, what they get sick with, how they celebrate birthdays, etc.? If not, then you definitely need books by an English writer Kai Umansky.

A whole series of books Kai Umansky « The Adventures of the Witch Patchkuli» tells his young readers about the life of the inhabitants of the Unlucky Forest. Of course, the focus of any book in this series remains the charming Witch Pachkula! Despite its unique nasty aroma, this witch is still not without charm. It must be said that Pachkul always gets into some kind of trouble and adventure. Thanks to these modifications, Kai Umansky I was able to write my own interesting books and please readers.

Let's take book « Patchkula Witch, or the Magic of Bad Habits". The events described in this edition are no exception, Pachkul from the very first pages was in a quandary. And the thing is that she settled in a new damp, moldy cave, overgrown with cobwebs. After only a week, Pachkul managed to fill up her new home with a mountain of dirty dishes, scatter things and show the top skill of a sloppy hostess. True, this did not in the least prevent her from inviting her best friend witch Rogue and treat her to your favorite skunk soup. And everything would be great if not for the new neighbors Pachkuli- goblins who can drive anyone crazy with their singing. Besides Pachkule one should have foreseen that the house-warming was not only for her alone, but also for the neighbors of the goblins. And this meant that not only the hosts would sing, but also their guests. The ears of the witches were seriously affected by the current situation, and the ceiling of the cave, which collapsed, leaving Pachkul without a home. From this moment the real adventure begins. witches Pachkuli.

First of all, she needed to acquire a new place of residence. In this she was helped by her faithful friend Selma, with whom they sometimes quarreled, and the newspaper "Devil's Vedomosti". When the housing issue was resolved, before Pachkuley a new problem arose - she urgently needed an assistant worthy of the witch herself! And again, "Devil's News" came to the rescue! By the way, a very useful paper. If you have any problems, don't forget to check out this newspaper too. So, after, together with Shelmunchik, an announcement was made in the Devil's Gazette, to Pachkule a certain impudent Hugo from Hamsterdam showed up. Creepy type, I tell you, although he looks white and fluffy.

And then it started! First, this Hugo went with Pachkuley to the Sabbath and made a splash there! Even the almost two hundred year old Chepuhindna has never seen anything like this! And secondly, Hugo advised Pachkule arrange a talent contest among witches. This was an event of events! It is not every day that such events take place in the Unlucky Forest. The hall was just bursting with visitors. Even the wizards came! But all good things come to an end. And this competition, not without loss, ended.

But Pachkulya, apparently, it is so arranged that it will certainly fall into some kind of story! So, before she had time to move away from worries after the talent contest, she immediately began preparing the bicentennial anniversary of Chepuhindna. And since the old woman was clearly out of her mind, she took away from all the witches to a single magic wands. Because Pachkul and used old grandmother's spells. And as it turned out, not without costs. Oh I've been through Pachkul there is a lot of trouble in this story. It’s good that everything worked out after all and that there is a girlfriend of Rogue in the world! So what if she imagined being a fashionista, using only the best shades of lipstick from poisonous green to pale marsh, adoring Old Sock perfume and keeping hedgehog curlers in a box, but at the right moment she immediately rushed to her twenty-four cousin cousin, just to save face Pachkuli. However, and at the same time, too. But it's not that important. It is important that the holiday was a success!

Do you want to know how real witches celebrate their anniversary? Then run to the store or the library and grab a book Kai Umansky « Witch Pachkula, or the Magic of Bad Habits". By the way, if you suddenly want to get acquainted with Pachkuley, then the book has its address. If you can’t come to her because of school affairs, then at least you can send a postcard for the holiday.

And I can only help in finding the right book. To do this, I have one excellent bibliographic spell in store, which you need to say in the library or in the bookstore. Here is his text:

Umansky Kai Witch Pachkul, or the Magic of Bad Habits : Tale / Kai Umansky; translation from English. D. Sokolova.-M.: Eksmo, 2010.- 192p.- (The Adventures of the Witch Pachkuli).- ISBN 978-5-699-42651-5

Happy reading to you! 🙂